The Untold Story
by RevelwithAbigailE
Summary: Newly returned from Volterra, Edward and Bella sew the tattered fragments of their love affair back together with the bright threads of honesty, bravery and desire. Together they embrace their new life and find a new joy in the discovery of all that love has to offer them.
1. Chapter 1

Kiss

Edward made a concerted effort to unclench his jaw. _God save me_, he thought. Bella sat beside him, at her computer, answering emails. Edward took a slow breath, quietly savoring the sear of her scent. _God save __her_, he amended. He let the breath out and searched her face. She was lost in thought, her fingers tapping unevenly on the keys. As always, her silent mind drove him crazy. If only he could _hear_ her. Then he could be sure, he would know if what he was doing was justifiable. Because if she felt even half as strongly for him as he did for her, then it would all be worth it. Worth the risk, worth the torture of her special fragrance, la tua cantata.

Worth the uneasy feeling in his stomach, like it was all sloshy. Like he _had_ a stomach.

But he knew she loved him. She had come to Italy to save him. At her peril. They'd both nearly lost their lives for each other that day.

Bella's tapping paused and she bit her lip, unconsciously, her teeth pressing into the soft flesh. Edward suppressed a groan and clenched his teeth again. He wanted to bite those lips. To suck them into his mouth, to taste her sweet flavor, feel the warmth of her kiss. _It's too dangerous_, he reminded himself. _What if I break her fragile skin?_ It would be over in a second if that happened. Edward shivered inwardly at the thought. Then he smiled at himself. _To think, it's come to this..._

Edward had never had a mind for romance. Before his new birth his thoughts were of the glory earned in war. He'd wanted to be a soldier, to fight in whatever war they were selling at the time. He had no patience for frivolous things like love. Girls were all very well, but they wanted you to marry them and give them children. Provide for them. Edward had had no use for that. In the intervening years, his pursuits had been more academic than combative. He had studied music, art, medicine, the sciences. Yet, he never found himself wanting a romantic companion. Until Bella. That was why it had taken him so long to understand what Alice had seen right away. He didn't know what love felt like. What it looked like. How it could hurt. How, even with the agony of it, love could make you crave someone worse than air, worse than food. Like a drug.

Edward tried to understand his feelings. They'd been dormant for so long. Now that they were resurfacing he found them strange, almost alien. Yet he was driven by them. Driven to stay by the side of this beautiful, uncoordinated girl with a penchant for getting hurt. The girl with the scent that hurt more than any thirst. More than any fire. His throat burned just thinking about it, let alone sitting in the same room with her. Or kissing her. _God save us both._

Bella finished her email and turned to look at him. Her eyes were warm chocolate as she appraised him. Edward tried unsuccessfully to unclench his jaw. His body felt frozen, tense. Bella smiled at him from her chair and stood up, coming to sit beside him on the bed.

"All finished." she sighed, her breath hitting him hard.

"Homework now?" Edward managed. Bella pushed her lower lip up into a frown and pouted. She looked sinfully delicious. His jaw tightened.

"I'm done with most of it. Actually, I was hoping for some other type of activity. You know, something a little more fun..." She said it teasingly, drawing out the words, and he had no trouble picking up her meaning. Unfortunately for him, or maybe for her, Bella had a body full of hormones. She wanted him. _Thank God_, he mused, the right corner of his mouth curving into a smile. Bella's eyes unfocused. Her scent intensified, as it always did when she was aroused. It hit the back of his throat like a knife. But that was only half the problem. It also hit him in the groin, sending icy prickles of desire all over his skin. His un-stomach knotted. His face was flushed, though no human could detect it. He wanted her, too... Bad.

"Haven't we endangered your life enough today?" he asked, smirking. Her crestfallen face was his undoing. He couldn't bear to hurt her. Not again. Slowly, so slowly, he reached up to her face. He laid the back of his knuckles against her hot cheek and slowly drew them down her face, shuddering at the velvet of her skin, till he cupped her chin. He paused there, drowning in her eyes. She in his. _I love you_, he said with his eyes. It wasn't something he said out loud very often, though it was certainly true. _Do you love me?_ His eyes asked her. _Even if I'm a monster?_ As if she'd heard, Bella's face changed slowly. A soft and happy smile creeping across it. It was enough.

He drew her to him, his hard lips barely touching her soft ones. She tasted so good. Sweet and spicy at the same time. It made his lips tingle. His free hand crept up her back, curving around the back of her head, tangling in her warm hair. She wound her arms around his neck and tried to pull him closer.

He wanted nothing more than to crush her into him. Kiss her deep and hard. The need was a constant weight. His brows drew together and his eyes squeezed as he made himself touch her softly. So softly. It was maddening. The icy prickle was insistent.

He drank her in, as much as he dared. Her heart was pounding, her blood pumping through her veins, her breath stopped entirely. Finally, he pulled away, easily breaking her hold around his neck. His head seemed to swim a little as he leaned back.

Bella sucked in air as she finally remembered to breathe. The fire in her eyes bore into him. Edward clenched his jaw again. _Want._


	2. Chapter 2

Edward sat in the rocking chair in Bella's room, waiting for her to finish getting ready for bed. Unbeknownst to Charlie, Edward spent most of his nights here now. Not all. Sometimes he had to hunt. His throat burned even now as he thought of it, the pain a weak echo of what it would be when Bella came back into the room.

He hated leaving her. Since he'd spent those six miserable months away from her, every minute he wasn't with her felt like torture. He'd put off hunting much too long and he was thirsty. But the strain of being apart was so great.

And then there was Jacob. _I'm the one that left_, Edward reasoned. _Can I blame her for forming a bond with Jacob? He saved her life. He put her back together after I tore her apart._ Edward sighed deeply. He'd been such a fool, leaving her, and now he had to pay the price.

He knew Bella would try to see Jacob if he gave her the opportunity. The thought filled him with cold dread. The wolves were unpredictable at best. And Jacob was new to this life. Untrained. Uncontrolled.

Edward swallowed the lump in his throat. He simply couldn't allow Bella to be around the wolves unprotected. _If something happened to her..._ Edward's teeth clamped together as he remembered the anguish of knowing that Bella was dead. The unfathomable darkness that had engulfed him, the promise of oblivion the only rescue. He thought of the months away from her. The endless days and nights. So meaningless, wretched. Trying to fight the constant need to turn around, to come back to Forks and take it all back. Beg her to forgive him. To love him again.

Edward knew Bella was haunted by that time too. That was the other reason he'd put off hunting for so long. He could see it in her eyes every time he returned from a hunting trip. The memory of unbearable pain. _I'll never forgive myself for hurting her._

He would have to hunt soon though. It wasn't safe to put it off much longer. His control, so much better than it had been before he'd left, was still fallible. The longer he waited, the greater the risk that he'd hurt her himself. _That can never happen._

Edward took a deep breath. He could hear Bella brushing her teeth. She'd be done soon, back in his arms. He let the breath out and took another. He hated being away from her. It felt a little like dying. At least what he remembered of dying. Like all the light was slowly leeching out of the world, the blackness closing in, compressing him.

Finally the door opened, saving Edward from his morbid musings. Bella dropped her things on the floor and came to sit in his lap. He opened his arms for her, enfolding her gratefully.

"What are you thinking about? Your face is all crinkled," she asked, smiling.

"Nothing," he smiled back. _I'm such a liar._ "Just waiting for you." Bella seemed unconvinced by this answer, but she didn't push it. Instead she pursed her lips, looking down. Edward held her small frame gently, searching her face. _Please tell me what you're thinking..._

"So, I was thinking." Her heart started racing. Her face flushed, pink and enticing. Finally she stopped studying her hands and looked up at him. Her eyes were worried, afraid. Edward's protective instincts kicked in instantly. He waited.

"I was thinking about limitations."

"Limitations?" This wasn't what he'd expected from her expression.

"Yes. The limitations you've set for us. You know, as a couple." Edward froze, his jaw clenching again. _Dammit._ She felt him go rigid, he was sure. Her gaze changed from fearful to defensive.

"You can't ask me to live like a nun! I can't... I can't stand it." Her tiny face was the echo of his own frustrations. _Neither can I, love,_ he thought. _But we can't..._

"Bella, I've told you. It's too dangerous. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough." How awful was this? The thing he most wanted, she most wanted, and they couldn't have it. He was up, suddenly pacing the room, anxious, leaving Bella standing uncertainly next to the chair they'd just vacated. As soon as he realized this, he stopped, looked at Bella's surprised and hurt face and sat down on the bed opposite her, taking her hand in his.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. She sat next to him gingerly. He'd startled her. _Good job, Edward._ He took a deep breath, the searing pain a reminder of why he couldn't give her what she wanted. _What I want._ The velvet warmth of her hand in his prompting his own desires.

"Bella." Edward looked her straight in the eye. "If I were to hurt you..." he trailed off, shaking his head imperceptibly as he watched her. He could see her resolve and decided on a new approach. _God, I'm loathsome,_ he thought.

"Please, try to understand." He unleashed the full power of his eyes on her. "I could never survive that," he pleaded.

"I don't think you'll hurt me," Bella said softly, examining her fingernails. "I don't think you can." He raised his eyebrow at her but she continued without looking at him, stumbling over the words a little. "I mean, of course you're strong enough. But I mean, more like, you won't let yourself. You said yourself, thinking I was dead changed you. And you are strong enough, Edward. I know you are."

"I'm not," Edward whispered, allowing himself the very human reaction of slumping his shoulders. _God, this hurts._ He didn't want to have this fight. He didn't want to fight it at all. He wanted her so much. He dropped his head into his hands.

Bella sighed, resignedly. After a moment she put her hand on his back softly, trembling slightly. She smoothed his back in small circles, her warm touch like an ointment. Her touch always soothed him. But it also excited him. Made the heat rise in his face. Made his skin warm with desire. Made him want to change his mind.

"Edward," she pleaded.

"Bella, please... Don't." he whispered, ashamed.

After a moment Bella dropped her hand. "You need to hunt," she said stiffly. "We'll talk about it when you get back."

"There's nothing to talk about, Bella. I won't change my mind." _I can't._

"We'll see," she murmured. He watched her carefully as she got up and pulled the blankets back, climbing in. Edward stood as she got comfortable, longing to be able to comfort her himself. He walked around the bed and bent over to kiss her forehead, his cold lips tingling as they touched hot skin. He looked into her eyes for a long moment, searching.

"Sleep well, love," Edward murmured sadly. He settled himself on the other side of the bed so she could snuggle in. She slept better when he held her. _Please let this go, Bella,_ he thought, _I can't keep this up for long. And you are so breakable._

Edward sat in the dark, watching Bella's face soften and smooth as she fell into sleep. She looked so peaceful. An angel at rest. His angel. Serene and beautiful. He laid a cool finger tenderly against her cheek, reveling in the silkiness of her pale skin.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her sleeping form. "I wish we could."

As the hours passed Edward thought about their dilemma. If he was honest with himself, he wanted to give her what she wanted. More than a little. His skin pricked with icy fire just thinking about it. But he couldn't, could he? It was hard enough to be gentle when they were only kissing. What if things really got going and he lost control? The thought sickened him. _No. I can't do it. It's too risky. I can't lose her. Not again._

Still, he wanted.

Edward knew this wasn't the last time they'd have this argument. Bella wouldn't give up. And he knew he couldn't keep denying her. Not for long, anyway. _I only have to make it until graduation, right? Then Carlisle will change her and it will be safe._ But he didn't want that either. Not really. Well, maybe a little... _So selfish._ Edward sighed, closing his eyes and trying to think of something less troubling. _I should talk to Carlisle..._


	3. Chapter 3

Advice

In the morning Bella kissed him goodbye and he ran quickly to meet Emmett, Carlisle and Esme. They would hunt close to town, leaving Alice and Jasper to watch Bella.

Everything would be fine.

Still, he worried.

Bella would want to see Jacob, he was sure. She'd tried before. Alice had seen her decide to go. Or rather, Alice had stopped seeing her altogether, and he'd been able to stop her. But now, when he was away? Hunting?

Edward decided to trust Bella's safety to Alice today and turned his thoughts to his other problem. Well, one of my other problems. Thanks to their last conversation, Edward had spent most of the night lying next to Bella's warm curves, thinking about asking Carlisle for advice. Somehow, he couldn't really bring himself to do it. Emmett, so much younger, seemed easier to approach on this particular topic.

Emmett loped alongside him as they ran through the trees, searching for prey. Edward could hear his brother's thoughts, but not direct them. He'd have to ask.

"Do you remember much of your human life?"

"My human life? Why?" Emmett laughed.

"I was just wondering if you could help me out with a delicate problem." Edward wasn't quite sure how to ask what he needed to know. Emmett's mind was open, curious.

"I'll do my best. I only remember bits and pieces. What do you want to know?"

"Well, I was wondering if you ever had...relations with a woman." Edward cringed inwardly at having to ask this. But he had to. He'd been unknown to women, in that sense, when he was turned, and since then, no one had ever interested him. Until now. He had no idea what to expect. Emmett's booming laugh echoed off the surrounding canyon walls.

"Your Bella giving you the old tickle, huh? I can relate. Have you seen Rosalie? I mean, please!" The mental pictures in Emmett's mind were shockingly explicit.

"Hmm, yes. Perhaps I should speak with Carlisle." Edward turned away, his cheeks blazing.

"Oh, come on. You asked!" Emmett admonished. Edward sighed and nodded at his younger brother. "Ok, let's see. I did date this one broad for a while before I was turned. I have a few vague memories. Anything in particular you wanted to know?" Edward sifted through the vague mental images flashing through Emmett's mind. Edward knew his brother was trying to be serious, sensing Edward's tension, but he still had a huge grin spread across his face.

"What's it like?" he said asked quietly. Edward slowed his pace, coming to a stop in a small grove of trees looking out onto a meadow. Emmett stopped, too. Carlisle and Esme sped past them into the meadow.

"It's great! It's the best feeling you'll ever have. It's like, right now, your insides are all scrunched up and tight. And then, after you...do the deed, you're all soft and stretchy and loose. It's awesome!"

Edward considered this briefly. He could hear the satisfaction and languor in his brother's thoughts. It sounded nice. But not strictly necessary.

"It's also the most intense and intimate thing you can share with someone," Emmett blurted quickly, his voice a little lower than usual. Edward thought this was a profoundly sensitive thing for Emmett to admit to. He smiled at his brother.

"What about the physical part?" Edward asked.

"Ah. Right. So, you do know how its actually done, right?"

"Yes, of course. I have several medical degrees, if you recall," he said, cringing away from the memories flooding Emmett's mind.

"Yes, all knowing one, I recall," Emmett smirked. "Well, ok. Physically. Are we talking about this happening after she's been changed?"

Edward sighed. That was the whole problem. "Both, I guess."

"Ha! I knew it! That Bella sure gets what she wants! She's got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

"It's not only that. I'm curious too." Edward admitted.

"Alright, alright. I get it. Well, let's see." Emmett looked at the forest floor, searching for the words. "The sensations can be pretty... intense. Far more so than what I remember from when I was human. It will be challenging to keep from hurting her, her being so fragile and all. Especially with you having no experience." Emmett grinned down at Edward. Edward fidgeted under his gaze.

"Experience would help?" he asked.

"Sure. If you'd done it before you'd know how you'd react and you could adjust if you needed to."

"Well, I don't have the benefit of that."

"Have you ever, ya know, experimented on yourself?" Emmett asked. Edward studied the ground. He could hear that Emmett had spent copious time 'experimenting' on himself.

"Once or twice," he admitted. Emmett nodded.

"Look, maybe if you two just took it slow, you know, kinda worked up to it. I mean, it would be stupid to go for the gusto all at once. Dangerous. But, if you're gentle and you don't let yourselves get too carried away, you should be able to manage it. You have amazing control, Edward. Way better then me. You'll want to find some way to channel the excesses, though. And you'll have to stay alert. Not as much fun, probably. But still, totally worth it!" Emmett beamed.

"Thank you, Emmett." Edward nodded. "That was quite helpful."

"Any time!" Emmett lurched away from the tree he'd been leaning against and peered back at Edward. "Is it time to eat?" he asked, grinning. Edward laughed with him as they set off again.

As he ran, Edward tried desperately to get Emmett's mental image of Rosalie out of his head. He shoved her naked form to the back of his mind and tried to think about something else.

Sometimes he really wished he couldn't read minds at all. Rosalie kept popping back to the forefront. Edward sighed, trying to replace the image with one of Bella. But he just couldn't see Bella in that position. He couldn't see it without feeling the icy tingle spread through his body again, tugging at his resolve. Maybe I could...


	4. Chapter 4

Dread

Edward had just tracked a rather large mountain lion to a small stream and had begun to stalk it when his phone buzzed. He froze. Bella! he thought, instantly panicked. He fished his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"Alice? What is it?" he barked.

"Edward, she's gone. Disappeared. I can't see her at all. She went with that dog. I'm sorry. She didn't think about it, she just went," Alice chirped quickly.

"I'm coming home," Edward growled, closing his phone. He could hear Carlisle and Esme not far away. In the next moment he stood beside them, his brow furrowed.

"Edward? What's wrong?" Esme asked, surprised, putting her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, too tense to accept the comfort she offered.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. It's Bella. Alice can't see her anymore," he said curtly. His parents just nodded with understanding as he dashed into the woods.

The green flew by him as he raced back to the house. Bella, Bella. Why must you do this to me? he thought desperately. If that dog hurts her, I will end him. And then I'll let his pack kill me. Because existence without Bella...he shuddered. That was no existence at all.

Edward ran. Fast. He strained his muscles, eating up the ground with as much speed as he could muster. Just like Phoenix, he mused. Keeping Bella safe was a full time job. And that was just one vampire. This is a whole pack of uncontrolled werewolves.

Not to mention the fact that Jacob Black was in love with Bella. Edward sighed. That was a complication he didn't need. Jacob had tried to keep his thoughts hidden when he'd come to warn Edward, unnecessarily, about the treaty. But it was there. He could hear his longing. His pain. Edward clenched his teeth as he ran, sick with jealousy, the toxic feeling fueling him forward. If he touches her... He smiled at the thought of what he would do to Jacob if he ever laid a hand on Bella without her permission. I hope she doesn't give him permission. He cringed at the thought.

Edward reached the house, running straight to the garage and his car. He climbed into the driver's seat as he jammed the key into the ignition, stress making his movements a stiff. He pulled out and sped down the road, doing 90mph.

He reached the boundary line in record time, listening a few miles ahead of him for any motorists who might be in his way. Luckily there were none. Of course, that's when his luck ran out, as he knew it would. There he sat, pulled to the side of the road that led to the reservation. The treaty forbade Edward from entering Quileute land. Ever.

Damn! Edward had to remember not to crush the steering wheel as he sat there, frustrated. Impotent. He carefully removed his marble fingers from the fragile steel and squeezed his hands into tight fists in his lap.

Jacob Black is dead. I'm going to kill him. Rip him into little pieces and grind them into the ground. I'm going throw him against the mountain so hard that every bone is his body shatters! I'm going to...

Edward shook his head, closing his eyes, trying to get a grip on himself. He couldn't allow himself to think that way. He would never deserve Bella; monster that he was, he knew that. But murdering her best friend, in sick and violent ways, would definitely not help his chances.

He opened the door and got out, letting the fresh air calm him. He took a deep breath and let it out. Relax.

It didn't work. Edward gazed down the road trying to pierce through the distance to find Bella. Is she safe? Of course it was much too far and forested even for his eyes. He sighed, leaning back against the car and raising his fists to his eyes. Bella, he moaned inwardly. Please be ok. Please. I can't live without you...

The fear and panic consumed him. His unmoving blood seemed to run cold and his stomach ached, twisting with dread. If he could still sweat, he'd be drenched. Get a hold of yourself, Edward, he scolded himself, laughing without mirth. Alice always says you worry too much. She'll be fine. Fine.

As he thought he started walking, pacing in the dirt beside his car. Before he knew it, he was striding off toward the treaty line. At the last moment he stopped himself, clenching his fists and hovering over the invisible line that rendered him helpless. An impatient growl rumbled in his chest.

He considered ignoring the treaty. Just racing in and stealing Bella back before anyone even noticed. He could do it. He was fast. It would be easy. Until Jacob realized what had happened and the pack descended upon his family. He cringed at the thought of his mother fending off a wolf. Damn. His teeth clenched.

Edward paced again, trying to reason through his dilemma. If he could get her out without anyone seeing him, would they assume he had done it? Likely. Would they seek him out? His family? Or would the wolves just wait until they were hunting and pick them off one at a time?

Edward's pacing sped, no need to appear human out here. The only humans were miles off. And he'd hear their thoughts before they could see him anyway. He wore a deep path into the dusty road as he plotted Bella's rescue.

A painful thought brought him up short. What would Bella do? He knew if he rescued her she would be angry. Jacob was already a tender subject between them. He could see her hurt and furious face in his mind. He smiled sadly. My tiger-kitten.

No. He couldn't cause her pain. But if anything happened to her…

Edward wasn't sure exactly how long he paced there, waiting for Bella. He knew he was waiting now. There was truly nothing he could do. He couldn't break the treaty. Endanger his family. Bella wouldn't forgive him if he got her friends and future family killed. The thought irked him and the bile of his fear and anger desiccated his veins.

Before Edward went completely mad, he heard the familiar rumble of Bella's ancient Chevy. The relief was immediate but short lived. Bella! Is she alright?

He slipped back into the volvo and drove up the road a few hundred feet to a place he could hide the car in the trees. He waited. Soon the loud truck came lumbering down the dirt road, kicking up a cloud of dust in its wake. She was relaxed in the cab as she maneuvered down the lane. She's ok. That simple fact relaxed Edward markedly. He swung the volvo out behind her and followed her down the road, glaring at the back of her head. How could you make me worry like that? Edward realized, in a moment of shock, that he felt a little betrayed. And why not? She knows I don't want her visiting the wolves. That it's dangerous. And Jacob is there...

Bella drove painfully slowly all the way to Angela's house without looking back at him. She knew he was there. He could tell by the stiff way she held her back, the stubborn line of her neck as she held her head completely straight, never looking to the side unless completely necessary. Avoiding the rearview mirror at all costs. She was afraid. Oh good, now she's afraid. Her reactions are always backwards. He almost laughed. Almost.

He left her as she parked at Angela's, driving past her without looking. She was safe there; he wouldn't stalk her. She knew what she had done. Still, they would talk about this.

Edward drove home then. He had a few hours before he could slip into Bella's room unnoticed and he wanted a change of clothes. He hadn't fed, but he didn't have time now. He'd just have to wait. As he drove the familiar winding way, he checked his eyes in the mirror. Black. He sighed. There had to be some way to keep her safe while he hunted.

A few hours later, Edward scaled the siding of the Swan residence and let himself in through Bella's window. She was downstairs with Charlie, finishing up dinner. He listened as she stalled, doing the dishes carefully and even cleaning the kitchen. Twice.

Finally, she said goodnight to her father and made her way reluctantly up the stairs, practically dragging her feet. Edward expected her to open the bedroom door but she veered off to the bathroom. She must have put her nightclothes in there already, suspecting the coming fight. Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He didn't want to fight. He just wanted to hold her. To know for sure that she was safe. To feel her, solid, in his arms. He even longed for her scent. That beautiful, terrible aroma that aroused both insatiable thirst and aching desire.

But he had to make her understand. He couldn't spend another afternoon the way he'd spent this one. He just couldn't.

Finally, Bella finished brushing her teeth, made her slow way down the hall and stopped in front of her door. He heard her take several deep breaths, trying to calm her racing heart. She opened the door softly and closed it before turning around to face him. Though he'd known that she was safe for hours, the moment he saw her, saw the physical reality that she was unscathed and safe, Edward felt the fear subside. Like a heavy weight being lifted off his chest, to be replaced by something else: joy. A fierce joy. He wanted to dart to her side, enfold her in his arms, never let her go. Bella...

But he couldn't. His body was locked down, still as a statue, the panic and fear of the afternoon still frozen in his tissues. He stayed where he was, leaning against the far wall by the window. He was still hurt and angry that she'd gone to the reservation. He needed to make sure she understood how serious this was.

"So, I'm fine. See? Nothing happened." Bella mumbled, nervous. Yes. This time. And there won't be a next time. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose again and sighed heavily. He didn't move beyond that. His body felt too heavy, rigid from the stress of the day.

"Jacob won't hurt me, Edward. He isn't dangerous." He isn't dangerous? Edward was furious again. He glared at Bella.

"Bella, you aren't known for your ability to discern what is dangerous or not." His voice was hard, cold as steel. She sighed and crossed the room, coming to place her hands on his chest, effectively erasing his resolve. He looked down at her upturned face. So lovely.

"I'm sorry I made you worry," she cooed, wrapping her arms around him and leaning her head against his icy chest. Edward melted, his frozen body softening under her touch. He let his arms wind around her, exalting in the fact that her warm, fragile body was here, safe in his arms. Funny that this would be the safest place for her. He allowed himself a small smile, resting his chin on top of her head and pulling in her scent, savoring the burn.

"Bella," Edward controlled his voice this time, keeping it soft velvet. "You don't know how close I came to breaking the treaty today," he whispered. She stiffened, pulling her head up to look at him, her expression shocked.

"Edward, no! You can't!" she said urgently.

"I would have, you know? It got very close. If you hadn't driven up when you did…" he let his voice trail off. He knew this wasn't precisely true. But he couldn't promise that he wouldn't break the treaty if this happened again. If he thought she was hurt, there was nothing that could stop him from saving her. Nothing.

"Edward." Bella searched for words. "You have to understand. Jacob isn't going to hurt me. None of the wolves are. They protected me." She paused, searching his face. "You didn't feed." It was a statement and Edward could hear her disappointment. She hated it when he left her. As much as he hated it.

"I came home as soon as Alice called."

"Well you shouldn't have. Now you'll have to go away again." Her pout was sinfully enticing. "I know Alice couldn't see, but really, you should have known. Next time - "

"There won't be a next time, Bella," he interrupted, his voice hard again. "You can't expect me to allow you to put yourself in danger."

"I'm not in danger! And yes, there will be a next time. Jacob is my friend." Bella pulled away and crossed her arms across her frail body, her cheeks flushed delicately. "You are overreacting, Edward. You have to trust me."

Edward couldn't help it. He growled. The ridiculousness of this was infuriating.

"Are you sure this is about my safety?" she asked, suddenly.

"Of course, Bella. What else could it be?" he demanded furiously.

"Well," she paused, seeming embarrassed. "You do know you have nothing to be jealous about, don't you?"

Edward was surprised. He was under the impression that he'd been hiding his jealousy better than this. Bella considered him. She peered at his face, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips. The expression was quite comical. Edward might have laughed if he wasn't so upset. Of course I'm jealous, he thought.

"You are jealous," she said, confounded. "Edward, there's no reason to be jealous." Jacob loves you. That's a reason. And since I can't read your mind I can't know how you feel. Not really. She came back into the circle of his arms, reaching up to kiss him. Her warmth was hard to resist and her scent assailed him. He let himself be pulled into her kiss, her lips soft and supple against his. Persuasive... Edward let her assuage his fears about Jacob, let Bella's love and heat thaw the frozen monster he'd been all day. The relief was profound. He cupped her cheek gently in one hand, his other tightening around her small waist. She felt so good. Soft and luscious. As her fragrance intensified with her arousal, venom filled his mouth, his muscles tightened in preparation for the hunt. His body felt tight, coiled, ready to spring.

Grimacing, Edward pushed Bella away from him. She gasped as she remembered to breathe, her heart restarting with a thud. Edward held his breath, trying to calm the predator within him. No. There is no way I can do this. Emmett was wrong. This isn't possible. Not with how she smells to me. Mouthwatering. Edward closed his eyes, disgusted with himself, as he fought for control. After a moment he opened his eyes again and let out his breath.

Bella still had heat in her eyes, her pupils slightly dilated. She smiled up at him, her skin luminous in the moonlight, her hair shining. The full curve of her lips pierced Edward to his core. He groaned silently. Want.

He took another breath, testing himself. The burn was there, as ever. The allure was less than it had been, but it was still compelling.

Bella lifted a timid hand and traced the dark circle under his eye with one warm finger. Her touch sent a wave of icy electricity through him, followed by the sear of desire. He wanted to touch her, wanted her to touch him. He took her hand and pressed it to his cheek, his eyes closing as he savored her touch.

"Bella," he pleaded. "Please. I can't live without you."

"You won't ever have to, Edward. Trust me. The wolves are safe." Bella distracted him from this ludicrous statement by slowly sliding her hand down his neck and beneath the collar of his shirt, resting it on his bare chest. He shuddered. A small movement she wouldn't see or feel. The heat from her hand pulsed through him. His breathing hitched and sped as he gazed into her eyes. He could see her desire. Knew she could see his.

In the next instant Edward scooped Bella up and laid her gently on the bed. He crouched over her, his hands in her hair, her scent spilling over him. She reached for him and he obliged, gladly. Edward's head swam in the mire of his feelings. Still so new, confusing. Desire. Jealousy. Fear. Protectiveness. Love. Above all, love.

He kissed her, hard. Harder anyway. He couldn't really kiss her like he wanted to, yearned to. It would crush her. But she seemed happy with this new pressure. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him into her even harder. Edward lost himself in her, savoring her flavor, the warm, wet, tantalizing softness of her lips. The sweet smell of her light sweat. The flavor of her blood on his tongue as he pulled in her scent. The way her body moulded to his. He longed to trace her curves. All her curves. Press himself against her. Feel her pressing back.

He broke away from their kiss. Partially so that she would breathe, but really so he could trace the line of her neck with his lips. Her blood pounded beneath her thin skin. So fragile. His own throat burned painfully with thirst, his mouth pooling with venom. He wanted to taste her. Again.

This line of thinking wasn't good for their continued intimacy. Something Edward wanted. Very much. So he lifted his head, holding his breath and controlling his thirst.

Bella sighed happily and turned her face into his neck, her arms winding around his waist. She shivered as she pressed her hot cheek against Edward's ice cold skin. Her warmth flowed into him like fire. Edward felt himself hardening as she pulled his body against hers, his insides tingling with icy fire.

"Bella," he moaned, "easy, love." He eased himself up and off of her slightly. He wasn't ready to tackle quite this much excitement yet. He needed to hunt. Badly.

Bella exhaled heavily. She loosed her grip, though he hardly required that in order to escape her. He pushed back, sitting on his heels on the bed in front of her, his hands folded, hopefully hiding the sudden bulge in his lap, his cheeks burning with invisible embarrassment.

Bella was flushed too, her breathing a little too fast, her heart stuttering. She was scintillating. God, I want her so much. She sat up slowly, tucking her knees beneath her, until she knelt before him, her deep, chocolate eyes searching his face, a small worried frown on her pink lips. Edward watched her wordlessly, wondering desperately what thoughts swirled in her silent mind. He was motionless, the blush of shame still in his cheeks, unable to drop his gaze from hers. I'm sorry, love. I'm just too weak, he thought bleakly.

Bella lifted one finger and smoothed his wrinkled brow softly, the warmth of her touch intoxicating. Edward closed his eyes, basking, as Bella's hand traced his features tenderly.

"Edward," she whispered, her hand warm on his cheek. "I know you can do this. I know it." Edward sighed sadly, wishing her belief in him could make it true.

"Bella," he shook his head sadly. "I can't." He took her hand in his, holding it in his lap and tracing the faint line of her veins. "And I really do need to hunt," he whispered miserably. Monster.


	5. Chapter 5

Decisions

Edward spent the whole night in thought. He thought about Jacob, considering his options carefully. It was clear Bella had forged a meaningful bond with Jacob. If she hadn't, she never would have sneaked away to see him. How much did she care? Was it mere friendship that drove her to risk her life to see him? Was she in love with him?

No. Please, no. Edward clenched his teeth against the pain, his fists balling up involuntarily. The thought of Bella in love with someone else was truly more than he could bear.

If she does love him, what will I do?

The thought tormented him, the bite of it nearly unbearable; his solid crystal insides even colder than usual. It felt like he would shatter. Edward drew a deep breath through his teeth, savoring the sear of Bella's scent as she slept silently beside him. The pain, the real, physical pain of his unquenchable thirst helped clear his head. It penetrated through the haze of hurt and jealousy that filled him. He knew jealousy was not an attractive quality. He tried to hide it as best he could, but it ate at him. And now, in the dark of night, with Bella unconscious beside him, it was impossible to keep at bay.

Jacob had been there when he wasn't. He'd kept Bella safe. Kept her sane. Well, sort of. And now? He was still there. Still in her thoughts, in her dreams. He'd heard her call his name as she slept. My Jacob. Edward winced at the memory. It had cut him like a knife to hear her call for him.

Edward wasn't sure what to think. His still heart told him that Bella loved him. Would die for him. Even trade her immortal soul to be with him for all eternity. But he also knew that she felt... something... for Jacob. She could change her mind. He knew she might stop loving him, that she was young, that she didn't really understand what she was giving up.

A human life. Marriage and children and growing.

Changing.

Edward sighed.

Vampires didn't change. He never changed. Hadn't changed in almost a hundred years. Except when Bella had come into his life. That change had been abrupt. Painful. And irreversible. There was no going back from it. If Bella decided she loved Jacob, Edward would have no comfort. No passage of time could ease his heartache. He would always love her. Forever.

But his own happiness didn't matter. Only Bella mattered. That was the only way he'd been able to leave her after her birthday, disastrous as that had been. If Bella truly loved Jacob, then he knew he wouldn't stand in her way. He would let her go.

It would kill him to do it. But he would.

"Edward," Bella's sleep muffled voice pierced Edward's melancholy. "I want you." Even in sleep, Edward could hear her desire. It warmed his frozen heart. I want you too, Bella, he thought, pained, so much.

He stroked her cheek, his cold fingers feather soft on her hot skin. She always felt hot to him. Her skin silky smooth. He longed to caress her. To hold her tight in his arms and make her his, truly. But I can't.

Emmett had said that he needed exposure. Practice. He'd said not to rush into it. But she makes me so crazy. I can't control myself with her. If I let things go, I'll hurt her. But he wanted to let things go. To touch the curve of her thigh. The soft swell of her perfect breasts. He wanted to feel her touch on him. He shivered involuntarily as he considered Bella's warm hands moving over his chill skin. Under his clothes. Her heat would singe him, drive him insane with need.

Edward clenched his fists, forcing his mind back under control. Don't think about that. Not here, he admonished. He couldn't trust himself not to reach out to her.

Edward weighed Emmett's advice. Clearly something had to to be done. Edward couldn't keep refusing her. Eventually, she would get her way. His way. Perhaps he should 'experiment.' Just to see how it went. How he reacted.

Edward laughed at himself silently. He hadn't indulged in that particular activity since he'd been changed. At seventeen he'd availed himself of his own ministrations on occasion, but since then, he'd had no need. No desire. Edward sifted through his vague human memories, trying to remember what it was like. His impressions were dull, cloudy.

Bella turned in her sleep, wrapping her arm around him and resting her head on his chest. Edward smiled to himself, holding her gently through the quilt that separated them. My Bella. I love you so much.

He decided then and there that he would try to give her everything he possibly could. He would take Emmett's advice and make himself as safe for her as he could.

And, if she wanted Jacob, he swallowed, he would let her have him.


	6. Chapter 6

Reunion

The trees flew past, a living, green streak as Edward ran. He was well fed, full to the point of feeling sloshy, and he'd engaged in a little solo research. Taking Emmett's advice had been more rewarding than he'd thought it would be. Still, the time spent away from Bella had taken its usual toll and Edward was eager to get back to her. Beyond eager.

When he reached town a light rain had started to fall, gathering and dripping from his hair in little sparkling diamonds and falling to darken his shirt. Edward alighted on Bella's front step, the familiar porch light buzzing comfortingly, and rapped on the door, shaking the drops from his jacket and hair and listening to Bella's eager footsteps as she rushed to let him in. As always, he took a deep breath, stealing himself against the new assault of her exquisite scent. A moment later the door swung open and she was there, standing in a pool of light, her shining hair swinging around her as she turned to him. As soon as Edward saw her, took in her relieved smile; the insistent ache that he'd forced to the back of his mind for the last two days, the painful memory of the months he'd spent away for her, was instantly erased. Tension drained from his shoulders and he eased into a crooked smile.

"Hi," Bella smiled, reaching for him. She stretched up on her toes and drew him to her, her hand behind his neck. He let her, her lips velvet soft against his. _Dazzling… _As always, her warmth seemed to melt though him, cunning and seductive. Edward wrapped her in his arms, pulling her soft, luscious frame into his chill one; just as eager as she was, his breath already ragged. _Oh, Bella… _

Only when he heard Charlie's disapproving thoughts did Edward remember to pull away, reluctant. He smiled down at Bella darkly, a promise in his eyes. Her heart skipped a beat.

"I missed you," he breathed. Bella smiled.

"I missed you, too." She took his hand and pulled him inside, closing the door behind them. She and Charlie had finished dinner and Bella was in the midst of cleaning up the dishes. Charlie grunted something unintelligible on his way into the living room to watch whatever game was on. He was still angry with Edward for what he'd done to his daughter and peeved that she'd taken him back so easily. Edward could hardly blame him, though his own reaction was one of grateful elation, not anger and mistrust.

Edward normally enjoyed sports, even joined Charlie occasionally, but tonight he couldn't have cared less. His eyes never left Bella as she went about cleaning up the kitchen. He helped her with her chores, watching her twist and bend as she put things away, smiling at the way her hair fell across her face, how it shimmered when she flipped it aside, soft and thick and fragrant. He watched her delicate hands, white with soapy water, imagining how it might feel to have them on his icy skin. Edward shivered, shaky, his rebellious body coursing with the warm flush of desire_._ When Bella bit her bottom lip unconsciously, the familiar habit sent a wave of icy prickles over his skin. _Ah, love… _

They worked slowly, keeping the conversation light, biding their time until curfew. Standing beside her was hard. It was almost impossible to keep from touching her. His solitary adventures this afternoon in the woods had awakened a new intensity to his desire. A keen edge. More than once his hands closed too hard around a plate or glass, barely realizing in time to keep from shattering it.

Finally, Charlie switched off the TV and stomped into the kitchen, grumbling about it being bed time. _Finally!_ Edward rejoiced. Charlie hung around until Edward had said his goodbyes, making sure the door was closed and locked with Edward outside before heading off to his room. With a guilty grin, Edward sped around the outside of the house and up to Bella's room, slipping soundlessly in through her open window, waiting impatiently for her to join him. Bella dawdled, slowly brushing her teeth and changing into her night clothes, waiting for Charlie to fall asleep. He could hear her heart racing. Anticipating. Edward sat on the bed, clenching and unclenching his fists, a deep heat surging in his veins.

_Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. I can't stand this, Bella. I need you..._

At last, she opened the door and slipped inside. She leaned back against the door, hands flat against the wood, raking her hungry gaze over him, an inviting blush painted across her pale cheeks. Edward swallowed hard. She was breathtaking. Her silly sweat pants and t-shirt clung to her curves irresistibly and Edward could feel the sultry heat coming off her; he could smell the tangy fragrance of her desire. It kindled his own hunger into a ferocious, blinding blaze.

Edward flitted to her, overcome, and sank to his knees at her feet. He laid his forehead against her stomach and wrapped his arms around her, a little too tight. He didn't care, he needed her. It had been too long since he'd seen her. Felt her. He craved her so badly. _My Bella._

"Bella, love," Edward pleaded. Her hands wove in his hair, breath catching as his grip tightened.

"Edward." Bella bent to kiss him, hands caressing down his back as she leaned into him. Her weight was as nothing as they toppled to the floor, Edward easing her down on top of him gently, his lips on hers, hungry. Anxious. Bella's supple form was strewn across his body, the flame of her scent in his throat, the rise of her breasts, hot and soft, pressed against his icy chest. _Oh god, Bella, you're so divine… _Her heat infected him, making him drunk with it, with her, a searing need rising in his veins, pounding in his head. He thought he might explode if he couldn't have her. Take her.

Edward released her lips to trace a cold line to her neck, delighting in her milky skin, his hands exploring lower than he'd ever dared before. Bella shivered, breathing hard. She turned her head just so, exposing the tender flesh of her neck appealingly. Edward trembled with savage hunger. He let his tongue glide along the pale column of her throat carefully, tasting her sweet flavor, shuddering as Bella moaned.

Venom flooded Edward's mouth; his hunting instinct triggered by her scent, her taste. With an iron will he refused to let it control him, locking his lips to guard Bella against his deadly teeth. He tried to relax, concentrating on his body instead of hers; the way it responded to Bella's, the way her warmth pooled in his veins, raced through his body. Unmade his mind. _Perhaps she isn't the best distraction, _Edward thought vaguely.

Bella turned to him again, her lips brushing his lightly, teasing. She tasted his skin timidly, her tongue singeing him, making him ache blessedly. She kissed her way along his jaw, nipping at his ear, exploring the line of his neck. The world melted away leaving only Bella, only her miraculous tongue against his skin leaving her indelible mark. _Oh god..._

Edward pulled her into him, hard. Too hard.

"Edward!" Bella gasped, her breath hot in his ear.

"Bella," he asked, suddenly afraid. "Are you alright? Is it too hard?"

"No. Not hard enough," she panted. Jaw locking, he squeezed the curve of her backside, catching his breath at the marvel of flesh beneath his hand. _Touch me,_ he thought, in a daze. _I want you to touch me; to want me as much as I want you._

Bella arched her back as he squeezed her again and, for a moment he feared he had hurt her, but the fire in her eyes as she sat up said otherwise. She let her hands splay across his chest, moving in exploratory circles. He wondered if the chill of his body would revolt her or if she would like what she found under her hands, but he couldn't think about it overlong; her touch was erasing his mind. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced before: a scorching brand and a soothing balm all at the same time. Edward arched up into her touch, his breathing shallow, quick, body humming. _Oh, Bella... Yes. _His mind was blank, an empty landscape of acute sensation. All of his perceptions narrowing to a single point, Bella at the center. The center of his universe. He watched her, stunned by her simple beauty. Her shining hair, the cream of her delicious skin, the blush of pink in her cheeks, the sumptuous curve of her lips. The fire in her deep brown eyes.

The plump roundness of her perfect breasts.

He longed to cup them in his too cold hands, squeeze and shape them. Feel their softness. Edward groaned softly, aching.

Bella's hands drew downwards, hesitantly, her gaze flicking to his, inquisitive. _Yes! Please… _

"You seem to be handling this pretty well," she mused, breathless, a seductive smile on her lips. "What changed?"

Edward drew in a shaky breath and forced himself to consider her question before answering. _What shall I tell her? The truth? Yes. She should always know the truth. Always. _

"I was tired of being weak," Edward admitted. "Tired of being controlled by the monster," he paused, letting the heat seep back into his eyes, his voice. "I want you too much, Bella." He sat up, taking her face in his hands tenderly, pressing his forehead against hers. "I couldn't keep telling you no when all I wanted was to say yes." The heat began to build between them again and Edward captured her mouth; entranced, her flavor stinging his lips. He kissed her softly, adoring, slow and languorous.

After a blissful, torturous eternity, Edward simply couldn't stand the ache any longer. He gripped Bella tightly and sprang to his feet, crossing the room in a second to recline on her bed. Bella was breathless, her heart stuttering unevenly, cheeks flaming. Her arm tightened around his neck, the other hand tangling in his hair, pulling herself into him.

Their kiss grew more urgent, Edward's icy skin warming under Bella's touch. Edward drank her in, his whole being trained on her, his head spinning. There was nothing but her. Her lips, her heat, her unforgiving curves._ Bella._ _My Bella… _

She straddled him, her knees on either side of his waist, her glorious body pressed against his, insistent. She whimpered as Edward drew his hands down her back and cupped her, pulling her into him. Edward gasped, his body in flames, his need for her a physical swell in his jeans.

"Bella! Oh, god," he moaned as she rolled her hips against his swelling form, his eyes squeezing shut as he fought the urge to take her right there.

"Edward," she breathed his name in his ear, her hands traveling down his chest, "I want to feel you." She ran her hands back up to his neck, caressing, bending to draw her tongue across his collarbone, her wet caress like a line of fire on his cool skin. Her fingers undid his shirt buttons clumsily. _I should stop her, _he mused without intent, his hands still gripping her.

Soon Bella had his shirt open, her warm hands exploring his granite chest, swirling in an urgent caress. She bent her head and tasted him, her tongue scorching his skin.

"Ah!" Edward exhaled fast, clenching every muscle in his body against the wave of ecstasy. _Excruciating... Wonderful. _His frame shook, the sensations too strong, uncontrollable, his desire and the promise of Bella's body demanding and hypnotic.

The scent coming off her skin was so strong Edward had to stop breathing. Still, the edge of it was like a knife in his throat and he ached for her in more ways than one. Dimly, from behind the haze of need, Edward sensed his stone body coil, his muscles bunching, teeth dripping with venom as his body prepared to attack.

_NO!_

"Bella," his voice cracked, strained, forced between his teeth as his body thrummed with thirst and unrelenting desire. Bella moaned in response, unaware of the dangerous turn he'd taken, pressing her hips into him again as she licked him.

_Too much, too much_!

"Stop," he commanded. Begged. Edward forced his arms away and pressed his hands into the mattress, fists tight, back rigid. "Please," he pleaded. _Please, stop. Please. Because I surely can't. _The impulse to crush her to him, roll her over and thrust inside her; sink his teeth into her too luscious throat and suck the sweet nectar from her frail body, was so great he could think of nothing else.

_No… Please. Bella, save me… _

Only just in time, Bella sensed his urgency and pulled away, shifting her weight off him. She was breathing hard, her own need pulsing in her veins, written on her flushed face. As soon as she was clear of him, he sprang from the bed and flung the window open. He stuck his head out into the rain, panting, letting the clean air soothe his ruined throat, clear his lust-fogged mind.

_Control. Control. You can do this..._ He gripped the windowsill until it started to break.

Slowly, Edward's brain started to work again. His tense, frozen body softened slightly, his breathing normalized. _That was close. Too close. Oh god… _

Bella exhaled sharply from the where he'd left her. He turned warily to find her watching him, her brows knitted together with worry and want.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered. He closed his eyes, the shame creeping up his face.

"Don't be, Edward," she said softly, her voice still thick. "That was... wonderful." She shivered involuntarily. "We just need some practice. Maybe take things a little slower next time." _Next time… _

Edward opened his eyes again, hopeful, a small smile fighting to break free. _Wonderful? _ He sighed blissfully, remembering.

"It was. Wonderful, I mean." _Until... _Edward dropped his gaze. Bella got up slowly and walked toward him. Cautious. Edward stood, frozen, staring hard at the fibers of her carpet. He didn't know if he could trust himself yet. And she was so close.

"Bella," he put out a hand in warning, unable to look at her. She ignored his warning, stepping around his hand and into him, leaning her head gently on his bare chest. Her heat sank into him, a blessing, and Edward let his eyes flutter closed. _Oh god... Bella. Don't let me hurt you._

"You are so strong, Edward," she murmured against his skin. "I'm in awe of you. The Herculean effort this must be." Bella lifted her head and searched his face until he met her gaze. "Thank you," she said simply.

That was enough. That simple 'thank you' brought him back from the precipice he dangled from. It meant she understood, saw his struggle and believed he could triumph. He enfolded her in his arms, no longer afraid. Exalting.

"Thank you, Bella," Edward said softly, stroking her cheek in wonder. "You're so brave, love." Bella shrugged, as if placing her life in Edward's hands every time they were together was no big deal.

"I love you," she said simply. Her arms slid around his waist, pulling herself into him. Edward locked her in his arms, unwilling to be parted from her. Ever.

"I love you, Bella. Forever."


	7. Chapter 7

Discovery

Bella tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her teeth biting into the soft flesh of her lip. Edward caught his breath. _I want you. _She regarded her test with a pained resignation, tapping her pencil against her palm as she considered the answer to question 8. Edward was long finished filling in the answers on his own test. He'd even tried to write slowly. Now he watched Bella surreptitiously from the cover of his lashes. Her skin glowed with honey warmth in the pale light from the window. Her hair was touched with long streaks of light, shining and soft. Edward's fingers itched to touch it. Touch her. _God above, I want you, Bella._

Bella leaned forward, erasing her answer and rewriting it. She nodded to herself and closed her test booklet, blowing out a slow breath. She peeked over at Edward and smiled when she saw him watching her, averting her eyes quickly so as not to alert the teacher. Her heartbeat sped and Edward knew he couldn't wait much longer. Her scent assaulted him, her warmth and softness beckoning like a sunny day. Bella's cheeks flushed. _What are you thinking?_ he lamented. As always her silent mind drove him crazy.

Bella shifted, crossing her legs and turning in her chair so she could see him without turning her head. A faint smile played on her lips. _Those lips..._ The familiar gleam in her eyes told Edward that her thoughts were aligned with his. _But we're at school. We can't, not here._ He sighed, wholly frustrated, his stone body aching. He could feel Bella's excitement, her body shifting from warm to fevered, her pulse hammering in her slender neck. Edward clenched his teeth, trying to get a hold of himself. _Ever since we started all this 'practicing' I can't think about anything else. I want her so much. _

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell finally rang their freedom. Bella scooped up her bag and her test and stood, reaching for Edward's hand. _Oh, god,_ he thought, shivering, as her heat invaded him. He followed her, helpless, blind with desire as she walked to the teacher's desk, deposited her test and turned for the door. Only belatedly did Edward remember to turn in his own test. He followed Bella out of the class room, pulled by her inescapable scent and the icy shivers that raced under his skin. It was lunch hour, _thank god,_ and Bella strode calmly out of the school and into the parking lot, making for Edward's car. Strictly speaking, they weren't allowed to leave the school during lunch, but Edward suspected that Bella didn't particularly care about that at the moment.

He drove them, a little too fast, out of town and into the surrounding forest, down a little road on the outskirts of town that no one was likely to use at that time of day. Edward pulled off the road and parked, hiding the car in the trees. He shut off the engine and sat without moving for a moment, trying to control himself. For once it wasn't the monster that threatened to overwhelm him, it was the man. It was his overpowering need to touch her, to kiss and taste every inch of her ivory skin, to give himself to her. He wanted to lose himself in her succulence, lose the monster and the man.

Edward closed his eyes and exhaled slowly as Bella's hand touched his icy cheek, her heat intoxicating. She caressed him, his neck, his throat, finally tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. She leaned in close, kissing his skin, her lips like a blessed fire on him. A ragged breath escaped his lips and Bella sighed, her breath warm against his skin. She flung her leg over him, straddling him, her lips a balm of soft heat on his throat. Edward fumbled with the lever, pushing the seat back as far as it would go to give her room. She pushed against him regardless, her body hot and demanding.

"Bella," Edward whispered. "Love." At a loss, he merely tipped his head back and savored her attentions, his hands winding up her thighs, squeezing her hard against him. _Oh, Bella. Yes! Please, don't stop. _His breathing spiked as Bella licked and kissed his skin, her teeth nibbling him softly. Her body pulsed with desire, her scent so sweet and sharp, her mouth irresistible. Edward wrapped his arms around her, tangling in her fragrant dark hair, pulling her warmth into him. His mouth found hers, devouring, and he let himself drown in her softness, drinking in her sweetness. Bella returned his kiss with urgent lips, her hands finding the buttons on his shirt. _Oh, god!_

"Edward," she whimpered into his lips. "I want," she hesitated. "To taste you." Her tongue drew a fiery line across his sealed lips, probing. _No, I can't. _Edward had never allowed himself to open his mouth when he kissed Bella. He couldn't let her in. He was too afraid of the damage his lethal teeth would do to her. He moaned softly, pulling his lips away from hers with considerable effort.

"Bella, we can't," he said miserably. "I'll cut you." He drew one chill finger across her lower lip, enjoying the fullness as he spoke. Bella shivered, leaning into him again, her body encouraging his. _Ah, please. _

"You won't. We'll be careful." She was so lovely, her warm eyes pleading, burning with desire. _I want to but… _He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed.

"Bella, love, you aren't really so good at careful when we're, um... together," he said softly. Bella lifted her head and looked at Edward. At first he could see her irritation. Then that shifted into fierce determination and he sighed again, closing his eyes. _Please, let's not fight._

"I can be good. I _will _be good. I promise." She said it with a conviction he hadn't seen in her before. He knew she was selfless, good, putting others before herself, but this strength was new. _I love you so much. Maybe I _can_ do it. _Edward reached up and slowly cupped her face, searching her eyes. She didn't flinch from his gaze, didn't hide from him. He found no trace of fear in her, though he hadn't expected to. _My Bella… _Edward braced himself. _Alright._

"Hold still, please," he pleaded. Slowly, so slowly, he brought his lips to hers, kissing her softly. All the urgency from before was gone now, only careful sweetness remained. Bella held very still, resting her hands on his stony chest. It felt warm and good, soothing. Her lips moved with his, slowly, softly. At last, Edward parted his lips, gently pushing his cold tongue into her mouth. _Oh, god!_ He shuddered. Her mouth was so hot and soft, velvety, and she tasted divine; spicy and delicious. He kissed her harder, without thinking, pulling her into him, drinking her in. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, returning his kiss with growing passion, pushing her tongue past his, into his mouth, probing him. He let her, savoring the incredible feeling of her warm spice invading his mouth, his body. His breath came faster, his hands insistent and too tight on her curves as he hugged her to him. _Stop! I have to stop! I can't let myself hurt you. _

Still, he couldn't tear himself away. Bella took him, her mouth demanding, her body, warm and soft and unbearably sweet, moving against him, pressed into his cold planes, thawing him. Melting him. Dissolving his control. She drew him into her, and he wanted nothing more than to give himself over to her entirely.

_You smell so good, _he thought, his mind muddled, throat burning with insatiable thirst. _Too good. _It would be so easy to nick the fragile flesh of her lip, her mouth, taste just a few precious drops of her sweet, sweet blood. The fire in his throat surged, eroding his control even further. _No! God, no! _Still, he couldn't stop himself.

As the venom started to fill his mouth and his body readied for attack he flinched away, pulling Bella from him and clamping his mouth into a hard line. He didn't breath, didn't dare. He was frozen, his mind a blank expanse of panic and fear. Edward stared at Bella without seeing her. Through the haze he knew only one thing: _I have to get away from here._

In one swift movement Edward shifted Bella back into her seat and fled the car, running as fast as he could, putting as much distance between himself and Bella as possible. After 20 miles or so he let himself breath again, the clean air clearing his mind. The burn in his throat eased as Bella's scent faded. _Oh god, _Edward thought, disgusted._ What have I done? I should never have let that happen. I'm so weak_, he berated himself. _But, I want her so much. It isn't fair._

Edward slowed, halting in a small grove, dropping to his haunches. He sat back on his heels, raising his hands and scrubbing at his face. _Why can't she just smell like any other human to me? _He wondered. He remembered that first time he'd scented her in Biology, when he'd almost killed her, destroyed everything he and his family had worked for. He remembered with painful accuracy just how much she had appealed to him.

Remembered, and then looked up with a start.

_She _does_ smell like any other human to me,_ Edward realized, astounded. He compared his recollection of that first time with what he'd just experienced in the car, just to be sure. There was no doubt.

_Amazing. Fantastic!_

Edward thought it through, elated, fully examining all his memories of how Bella smelled to him from before he'd left up to now. It was true. She really didn't have the same allure as before. Ever since he'd come back from that unfathomable blackness of believing that she was dead, her scent had had no more impact on him than any other human's, he'd only thought it had. He'd never really thought about it, expecting it to be the same. Edward laughed out loud.

Of course, Bella was still human and her scent was still tempting. To be fair, it was probably more tempting than some random human's would be. He was in love with her. That made her all the more desirable to him, blood and all. Still, it was a comfort to know. He could resist simple thirst, he had lots of practice with that. And with this new realization it would be easier to resist. Easier to be around her. To have her. _Bella… _

Edward trembled as desire came flooding back. Then he stopped, chilled. _Poor Bella, I just _left_ her! She must feel terrible. Why am I so selfish? _He was running almost before he realized it.

When he reached the car a few moments later Bella was still sitting in the passenger seat. When she saw him, she wiped her eyes and tried to act like she hadn't just been crying. _Ah, no… _Edward opened her door and scooped her into his arms, holding her close as he stood.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, love. I'm so sorry," he cooed to her, rocking her as she sniffed into his chest.

"You left. I..." Bella trailed off, wiping her eyes again. Edward flinched at the hurt in her voice.

"I know. I'm sorry, love, truly. Please, forgive me." _Please. _He wanted to explain his realization, but the time wasn't right. He had to make up for hurting her. _Again._ Bella nodded.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. Edward was surprised.

"What could you possibly have to be sorry for, love?" he wondered.

"I broke my promise to be good." Bella huddled against him, tucking her chin in, though she didn't cry anymore. Edward breathed a little easier. In one corner of his mind he analyzed Bella's scent as he breathed her in, gaging his reaction, his thirst. It was definitely less than it had been in the beginning.

"No, love. It was my fault. I was weak. I broke my promise, too." Edward set her on the hood of his car so he could lift her chin. "I promised myself I'd never hurt you again and I have. I'm so sorry, Bella." He saw the echo of pain in her eyes, in her face, the way she held herself, and it pierced his heart. _How could I have done this? I'm so loathsome. _"I know," he said softly, sadly. "That whenever I leave, even to hunt, it feels like it did when I went away. It does for me too. But I'm here, Bella. I'm here and I will never leave you again. I swear." Edward paused. "Unless you ask me to go," he whispered.

"Never." Bella's answering whisper was fervent, her eyes downcast. Edward pulled her closer, nuzzling her hair.

"I love you, Bella," he said simply. He pulled away slightly to cup her face, not moving until she looked at him. Her eyes shone with tears, a deep sadness there. _Ah, Bella. Please don't hurt. I can't bear to see you hurt. _He leaned in and kissed her softly, slowly. It was a sacrament, intimate and intense. Slow and lingering. When Edward finally pulled away he was breathless. Not from a torrent of hot desire, but from the stunning enormity of their love. Bella smiled up at him, but her eyes were still troubled, a little crease between her them.

"What is it, love?" Edward asked, his hands still curled around her face, his thumb tracing her cheekbone. Her skin was so soft. Bella swallowed but didn't answer right away. She looked down again and her lip caught between her teeth. _Want._ He dropped his hands to her shoulders, waiting.

"It's silly." she whispered, embarrassed. "Sometimes it feels," she took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Like maybe you don't want me... _that_ way. Like, you're sort of just going through the motions. For me." She didn't meet his eyes as she spoke, but Edward could hear the hurt in her voice, the shame. Edward was appalled. _How can you think that?_

"Bella." His voice was hard, stern. Edward tried to modulate it. "That's completely ridiculous!" Bella flinched and Edward wanted to kick himself. _This isn't helping. _He softened his voice even further, lifting her chin with one finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Of course I want you _that_ way," he said softly. _You beautiful, silly thing._ "I want you so much it hurts." He crushed his mouth to hers again, showing her his need, his hands pressing her soft frame into his stone body, lifting her off the car. Bella responded eagerly, her urgency suddenly as great as his own, her hands tangling in his hair, pulling him down to her, her legs closing around his hips, ankles locked. She moaned as Edward opened his mouth again, letting their tongues dance together. Edward knew he could do this now, knew he was safe. He could resist her scent. It was almost easy.

Secure in that knowledge, Edward let himself go, losing himself in her softness, her heat infusing him. He turned, sitting down where Bella had been and drew his hands down her back, cupping her curves and pulling her against his aching body. His breath caught as icy fire raced through his veins and concentrated; a throbbing swell in his jeans. _Oh, yes, Bella, I want you. Badly. _

"Bella!" he cried, panting. She arched her back, her breasts soft and supple against his chest. Bella moaned, dropping her head to the side, exposing her neck to him. Edward luxuriated in her, his lips traveling down her jaw, her neck, tasting the sweet honey of her skin. He sighed deeply, enjoying the intoxicating bouquet of her scent, his tongue tingling as it trailed over her silken skin. She was divine.

Edward let himself touch her, hands eager on her small frame as he caressed her. He slid his hands down the outside of her thighs, slowly, then back up the inside, as far as he dared. _Oh, Bella, I want your flower. I want to be inside you, _he thought desperately. _I _need_ to be inside you. _He brought his hands up her sides again, playing in her hair, his cold lips never leaving her skin. Bella shivered fiercely, breathing hard against him, her nails raking down his back. The fire of her touch was like nothing else. It blinded him to everything but her, her softness, her heat. The smell of her arousal, the insistent, aching bulge she was pressed up against.

"Ah! Bella!" Edward gasped, his voice ragged, strained. "I want you," he whimpered, his lips against hers, "I _need_ you." Bella sighed, her breathing uneven.

"You know I want you," she breathed, her hands fumbling with his shirt buttons. One by one, she freed his marble skin. Edward yanked the shirt off, letting Bella's warm hands scorch him.

"Oh, god. Bella, please…" He squirmed under the unbearable sweetness of her touch, her nails carving tiny lines into the marble of his chest. Edward was losing control and he liked it. He loved Bella's hands on him, eager and warm. He loved how well they fit together, how she was pressed into him, her own fiery center pressed into his. Edward bit down on his own lip, savoring the sharp line of his teeth, the small pain sharpening his pleasure.

Yet, there was a small corner of his mind that kept telling him to stop. That there was a reason to stop. A good reason.

_I don't want to hurt you,_ it whispered. _I _can't _hurt you. I can't let that happen. _Edward knew he needed to stop, that he wouldn't be able to if he let this go on much longer. He knew the need in his fingers would grip her too hard, crush her fragile bones. Still, it was nearly impossible to pull himself away from her. In light of their recent conversation, he knew he needed to be sensitive about his retreat.

Breathing hard, using the lightest pressure he could, Edward pressed Bella's warm, delicious body away from him. An inch. Two inches. Her hands were warm on his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles, sending aching tremors through his body. _Ah, Bella... _Edward cupped Bella's face again, gently, and kissed her tenderly, keeping the distance between them. It was hard not to crush her to him. Hard to use a gentle pressure as he held her. _Maddening._

Slowly, the fire dimmed, the fierce rush of desire subsiding into a comfortable warmth. Bella's breathing slowed, her lips soft under his, relaxed and languid when he finally ended their kiss. He kept his hand on her cheek and gazed into her shining eyes, she into his. He didn't know what she found in his. A monster? A man? Her eyes were boundless, deep. Full of love. In her eyes he found acceptance, he found his humanity; his soul. He thought, in time, if she would let him, he might even find his salvation. Edward wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close, bowing his head over hers. He held her for several long minutes before he was able to let her go.

"We should probably get back," he said at last. _Though I really don't want to._ Bella sighed her assent and he lifted her down from her perch, steadying her.

As they drove back to school, hand in hand, Bella was quiet. Edward wondered for the millionth time what she was thinking. He waited, hoping. Finally, as they pulled into a parking space, Bella sighed, looking over at him.

"Ok. I believe you," she admitted. Edward couldn't contain his huge smile.

"Finally! You're the only thing I want, Bella. You're everything to me. Everything." He hadn't really meant to be so vehement, but he needed her to know, to understand. His feelings were so strong.

"Then why do you always pull away?" Her lip pushed out in a little pout. _Sinful._ _Delightful._

"Bella," he turned her hand over his his, gently tracing the fine network of veins latticing her thin skin. "I don't want to hurt you. See, when I get, um, excited," he said uncomfortably, "I lose control. I can't manage my strength as well. I could crush you so easily." The last part came out in a pained whisper. He closed his eyes against the thought. It hurt to even ponder it.

After a moment, a warm finger soothed the crease between his eyes, caressed his cheek. Bella leaned against his shoulder, her head pressed to his neck.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't realize it was like that. I should have, I guess. That's how I feel too. Like I can't really control myself." She paused. "It's kind of miraculous, actually." She added wistfully. Edward chuckled in spite of himself, remembering the freedom of abandon.

"It is, isn't it?" he agreed with a smile. _It's really _quite _miraculous. _Bella took a breath and blew it out hard, frowning.

"To class?" she asked, wholly unenthused.

"To class," Edward replied, grinning, resigned.

As they walked, Edward thought about everything they'd discovered about each other. Insecurities, fears, delusions. He smiled. _We can do this, _he thought confidently. He could feel her small, warm body walking beside him. So precious. So vital to his existence. _My Bella. _He stopped her in the hall, a hand curved around her hip. When she turned to him, a question in her eyes, he stopped her mouth with a quick kiss.

"I love you. I want you," he said under his breath. "Never forget." He traced the line of her cheek softly, slowly, then dropped his hand and steered her to class.


	8. Chapter 8

Accidents

Edward hunted, fast, tracking anything he came across, barely caring what he fed on. Enjoying his meal was unimportant. He merely needed sustenance; to keep himself safe.

He'd finally relented to Bella's requests and grudgingly allowed her to visit Jacob. He knew Jacob wasn't actually likely to hurt her, having demonstrated his ability to control his shifting on several occasions. Still, it made Edward uneasy to leave her alone with him and the other wolves. Yet, it was a necessary evil. Edward couldn't leave her unprotected: it wasn't safe, and since Bella had made her feelings about being 'kidnapped,' as she'd put it, very clear, Edward had little choice. He had to feed. Therefore, much to his irritation, while Edward hunted Bella had gone to Jacob's. On the reservation. He grimaced and tried, without success, to focus on the deer he was tracking.

_Jacob is in love with her, _Edward thought miserably. He lowered into a crouch and slithered silently across the leaf strewn ground, readying for the kill. _Does she love him? _he wondered. He thought maybe she did. A part of her, anyway. A small part, but a part nonetheless. He had seen it when she'd spoken to Jacob on the phone. In the way her face had lit up when he'd dropped her at the boundary line earlier today.

That had hurt. Cut into him like a blade.

But Bella had reached up, pulled him to her and kissed him, told him to hurry back to her. Edward knew Bella loved him. More than she loved Jacob. The memory of their shared passion was sharp in his mind, in his stone body. That helped. It made the strain bearable, gave him the strength to leave her there with him.

It bothered him nonetheless. There she was, with _him_, where he couldn't follow her and Alice couldn't see her. It set his teeth on edge.

Edward knew he had no one to blame but himself. He'd left Bella and Jacob had picked up the pieces. In truth, he couldn't really blame Jacob for loving Bella, though he wanted to. Edward knew that Jacob was part of the equation now. So, with resignation, he had decided that he would rather deal with Jacob as a romantic rival than let the issue of their friendship drive Bella away. Edward would fight for her. Hard.

Edward sighed, letting his instincts guide him toward his prey, ignoring the slightly repulsive scent of the deer he stalked. He couldn't wait for this day to be over. As always, being separated from Bella was a tangible pain. A weight lodged in his chest. He always hated being parted from her, and now, with her at Jacob's? Edward clenched his teeth against his anxiety. It was nearly unbearable. _What are they doing? What is he saying to her? _Edward imagined the myriad things Jacob could be saying to Bella. That he loved her. Would do anything for her. That he had so much more to offer than that _leech_. That she wouldn't have to change for him, lose anything.

Edward stopped hunting, his appetite forgotten. He scrubbed at his face with shaky hands, his head bowed. _I can't live without you, Bella_. _Please don't leave me. _He needed her. To feel her easy warmth at his side. Her love enfolding him, protecting him. The monster, and the man.

Edward took a deep breath, trying to get a handle on his roiling emotions. Jealousy mingled with fear. Longing with desperation. And, eventually, determination. He wouldn't lose Bella. He would fight for her. He was taking nothing for granted. He knew Bella loved him and that gave him an edge. He knew she wanted him. He smiled, finally, letting his thoughts wander to back to a few days ago and his realization in the woods. Leaning against his parked car, Bella legs wrapped around him, warm and inviting. Her sweet scent thick around him… _Glorious._

With her scent in his mind, Edward hunted on automatic, reliving the bliss of Bella's kiss. Her scorching touch. Her liquid chocolate eyes, bright with desire. The way her cheeks looked when they were flushed, pink and warm with excitement, hot against him. Edward shivered. It was a little frightening how much he wanted her. He stifled a groan.

Edward caught his deer and drained it. Then he caught another. When he was fully satiated he began the trek back home slowly. He knew Bella would want the whole afternoon with Jacob. _Swell._

In an effort to control his thoughts, and not go utterly mad waiting for the sun to set, Edward thought about his next move in this war with Jacob. He puzzled over the best way to play it. _It can't seem like I'm fighting, it has to be natural. _Things had been hectic since they'd scented that intruder in Bella's room, and he knew she worried, fearing for her family and friends. _Of course, _he scowled. _Never afraid for herself. _What Bella needed was to get away from it all. Somewhere safe where she could relax. Perhaps a quick trip somewhere? Edward smiled to himself as he ran. _Yes, a romantic outing. That would be perfect. _Happily, he set about planning it. A picnic in their meadow? A quick road trip? A hotel somewhere? Alice could cover with Charlie. Somewhere remote, secluded…

As the light finally began to fade from the sky, Edward drove to Bella's house, happily anticipating her return. As he drove, he put the final touches on his plans. He'd decided against the hotel idea. He wasn't going to make love with Bella and a hotel would only result in an argument he didn't want to have. Instead, he'd decided on an idyllic spot he knew, a short drive up the coast. A short hike, Bella on his back, to a little brook he knew there, with a small clearing. They'd go on Saturday. Alice had said it would be warm. He'd bring a blanket and a picnic for Bella._ And, perhaps, after she's eaten... _The heat started to rise in Edward's veins as he contemplated the possibilities.

Edward smiled to himself, pleased with his plans when his pocket buzzed.

"Hi, Bella. How was Jacob?" He listened, tight lipped, as Bella explained that Jacob had kissed her, that she'd broken her hand when she'd punched him in the face. The gas pedal touched the floor.

"Is the dog still there?" he asked, livid, his voice low and deadly, darkened by anger.

"Yes."

"I'm around the corner." He closed the phone, returning it to his pocket with an icy calm that belied the rage that pulsed through him. _He dared to kiss her? Without her permission? I'll kill him!_ But as he rounded the corner and screeched to a halt, he knew he couldn't do that. Bella would not forgive him if he killed her best friend. He also knew that this was all part of the rivalry. The fight for Bella. This was Jacob's first move. The next move was his and he wasn't going to mess it up by being jealous and angry. He had to be the better man. Edward growled impatiently to himself as he get out of the car at a gruelingly slow pace, making his way to the doorstep. _Deal with Bella first. Ignore the dog as long as possible. Don't let your anger show. Be the better man._ He took a deep breath, steeling himself.

Bella was already at the door, holding it open and peering into the near darkness. Her face was agitated, angry and hurt. As soon as he saw her, he knew it would be easy. His concern for her overwhelmed his anger completely. Only Bella mattered.

"Bella," he said gently, reaching for her hand. "Does it hurt, love? Let me see." She nodded, extending her hand to him and glaring over at Jacob where he sat on the couch next to Charlie. Edward ignored Jacob. He took Bella's hand as gently as he could and pressed his lips to it, barely touching. He examined her hand carefully, with the lightest touch possible, ascertaining the damage. The small bones of her knuckled were broken. A tiny fissure. Not bad, but certainly painful. She had punched him hard. _My tiger kitten,_ he thought with pride, the right corner of his mouth picking up in his crooked smile.

"It's broken. I'm proud of you, Bella. You must have really put some strength into that punch."

"All I had. Too bad Jacob's head is so hard," she glowered.

"I may be able to help you with that," Edward said conspiratorially, smiling, keeping the cold fury out of his voice. Bella smiled, her eyes blazing. She wasn't trying to hide her anger. That made Edward feel better. _At least she's as angry as I am. _He put his arm around her, moving to put himself between Bella and the couch before calling to Jacob.

Jacob got up from the couch and sauntered over. He glared openly at Edward, his nose flaring, before turning to Bella, his gaze softening.

"I'm sorry you hurt your hand, Bella," Jacob mumbled. Now that Edward had assured himself that Bella was all right, the anger surged again. He took a deep breath, ignoring Jacob's repugnant stench, and burying his desire to rip him into little wolf pieces. _Be the better man. _

"I won't kill you right now, Jacob," Edward said, pitching his voice low so Charlie wouldn't hear. "Because Bella wouldn't want me too."

"Don't be so sure," Bella grumbled sourly from behind him. Edward turned to smile at her, knowing her anger would ebb. She was terrible at holding a grudge.

"You'd be sorry in the morning, love," he whispered to her. Her answering grimace told him he was right. Edward sighed inwardly. _Oh well… _Edward turned back to face Jacob. "Jacob, if you _ever _kiss Bella against her will again, I _will_ break your jaw for her," he promised, trying to keep his voice calm. He didn't entirely succeed. He could hear the savage edge to it. The menace. _Stay calm, Edward, _he urged himself. _For Bella._

"What if she wants me to?" Jacob sneered, stepping forward to glower at Edward, his face inches away. Edward returned his glare, fighting an overwhelming urge to reach out and break his neck.

"If Bella asks you to kiss her, I won't stand in the way." _Though I'd really want to. _The thought of that dog's lips on Bella's made his stomach twist with revulsion. And pain. Edward clenched his hands into fists as he made himself continue, calm and polite. "But Jacob, wait for her to say the words."

"Oh, she will!" Jacob blurted, trying to look sure of himself. In reality he looked on the verge of losing it. His hands shook and Edward could feel the heat of his anger coming off him in waves. He couldn't help but hear Jacob. _How can she love you? I hate you, you disgusting leech. You can't have her. I won't let you destroy her. _He was desperate, panicked and Edward flinched away from the truth of Jacob's thoughts. It was time to get Bella out of there.

"Don't you wish!" Bella said under her breath, glaring again. Edward sighed as Jacob remembered their kiss. At least it looked as if Bella hadn't enjoyed it. At all. But Jacob had.

"Yes, he does," he murmured.

"Bella, I know you want me. I'm not giving up," Jacob said, leaning toward her. Edward growled softly, just a low rumble in his chest. Bella glared at Jacob, hugging her hand to her chest. Wincing, Edward remembered that while he and Jacob argued, Bella had a broken hand. A hand that pained her. He needed to get her to Carlisle. But he had to be sure nothing like this would ever happen again.

"It's your face, Jacob. If you kiss her without her permission…" Edward let his voice trail off, menacing.

"Fine," Jacob hissed through his teeth.

"In fact, if you ever return Bella in less than the pristine condition in which I left her, I will hold you personally responsible, mongrel." Edward paused, considering. "I don't care what happens, Jacob, if lightning strikes her, if a tree falls in her path and she trips, if she gets a splinter: I'll blame you, Jacob— and you'll spend the rest of your unnaturally long life running around with only three legs." Edward took Bella under his arm and steered out the door and down the driveway.

Edward could hear Jacob deliberating, a growl rumbling in his chest. Pursue or not? _Don't do it, Jacob. Please. _After a moment Jacob decided, snarling at them from where he still stood by the open door. Edward rolled his eyes. _Now you've done it. _He could hear Charlie start to worry. Jacob followed them down the driveway, his meaty hand reaching out, grabbing at Edward's shoulder. With a few too quick steps, Edward put himself and Bella out of his reach, Jacob's hand falling through the air where they'd just been.

"Now, boys, let's not have any fighting," Charlie called from the doorway. "Do I need to put on my badge to make it more official?" Edward inclined his head toward Charlie cordially.

"There won't be any fighting, Charlie," he said pointedly. "We're just clearing up a little misunderstanding. Jacob is leaving now." _I hope_. Charlie nodded, perched on the porch, watching. Listening, Edward assured himself that Charlie hadn't witnessed his little display of supernatural speed. Then he leveled his glare at Jacob again.

"Go home, Jacob. I need to get Bella's hand looked at." He turned his back on Jacob, keeping his senses alert. Edward looked at Bella, searching her face carefully. She was still angry but mostly she just looked tired. He placed one hand on her shining hair, bending to brush the soft strands with his chill lips. "Let's get you to Carlisle, Bella," he whispered. She nodded and let him escort her to the car. Jacob stared after them for a moment, shaking, then took off toward the Reservation. When he was out of earshot Edward relaxed.

"Are you ok?" he asked anxiously. Bella just nodded, a little shaky as he helped her into the car. Edward nodded to Charlie as he went around and settled himself into the driver's seat. He drove slowly. Well, slowly for him. Bella tapped her toes crossly as they drove, her brows drawn together. Her hand cradled in her lap.

"What a jerk. I can't believe he did that," she grumbled. _I can,_ Edward thought sourly. He reached over and stroked her porcelain cheek gently. As always, she flushed at his touch, the warmth and color sending a familiar icy thrill through him.

"I'm sorry, love. Will you forgive him?" Edward asked, silently hoping for a no, knowing she would anyway.

"I don't know. It's just… I'm so…" She growled. Actually growled. Edward had to concentrate very hard not to laugh. It wasn't funny. Edward knew Bella was feeling violated. He wanted to comfort her, hold her close and never let her see that stupid dog again. He knew he couldn't. The decision was hers. _Be the better man, Edward. _He smiled at her sadly.

"He's your friend, Bella, and he loves you. He's just trying to save you from what he considers a horrible fate." _It _is_ a horrible fate._

"Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks. I like my fate. And it's my choice, not his." She looked down at her hand, continuing in a small voice. "I know he loves me. I hate that he does. It makes everything so complicated." Her voice lost the angry edge as she spoke, taking on a tenor of sympathy and Edward knew that she'd forgiven him already. _So soon_?he thought, disappointed. _She _does_ love him,_ he thought, stomach clenching against the pain. Still, all in all, he thought he'd fared rather well in the confrontation. He hadn't lost his temper. He'd been the better man.

Carlisle's analysis was the same as his. Her knuckle was broken, though not badly. He put it in a brace and told her to take some pain killers. Of course she'd insisted that she didn't need them. _Always trying to be so strong, my tiger kitten,_ he smiled to himself.

Alice had her arm around Bella as they sat together on the couch while Edward sat at her feet. Carlisle had retired to his office. The others were scattered throughout the house occupied with their various pursuits. He could hear Rosalie in the garage with Emmett. Grumbling as usual. Jasper was reading a volume of Greek warfare techniques. Alice chattered good-naturedly about this and that. Edward watched Bella carefully. She still looked shaken and her hand hurt her. He could see the slight flush in her cheeks, the sheen on her forehead. He held her good hand, stroking it softly, thinking about her choice to be like him. _Jacob is right, _he thought._ I am going to destroy her_.

Bella was staring at a square of the carpet, not really listening to whatever Alice was saying. She'd been introverted since they'd arrived and found out that Emmett and Jasper were making bets about how many humans she would murder in her first year as a vampire. _Idiots,_ he thought with irritation. He hadn't wanted her to know about that. He didn't want her to worry. It wasn't that he wanted her to make this decision blind, far from it, but he hated upsetting her.

Bella sighed, coming out of her reverie, and looked down at Edward. He smiled encouragingly at her from beneath his lashes and her heart skipped a beat. _Oh, my Bella. How I love you. _

"Let's go upstairs, love," he said, standing and offering her his hand. When she struggled to get up with her bad hand, he lifted her into his marble arms. Winking at Alice, he walked slowly up the stairs to his room, humming her lullaby softly. Bella leaned her head against his chest, curling into him. Even as cold as he was, it seemed to comfort her.

Edward went straight to the large bed set in the center of his room. He'd bought it when he decided to have Alice have a 'slumber party' with Bella while he hunted. That hadn't gone over too well. Still, the bed was nice. Edward laid Bella down gently, climbing up beside her and wrapping her in his arms. He knew the wager had bothered her. _Is that what troubles you now, love?_ he wondered, wishing yet again that he could know her thoughts.

After a few minutes she stirred, looking up at him with trepidation. She took a deep breath before she began. Edward held his, fearing.

"I know you don't like to talk about it, but I need to ask you something, Edward."

"Anything," he breathed fervently. _I would do anything for you, Bella._

"What will I be like? I mean, if Emmett and Jasper think I'll go on some murderous rampage, I won't be me, will I?" Her little face was so intense, it broke Edward's stone heart. He lifted his hand, gently smoothing the lines on her crinkled brow. Her skin was so warm.

"Bella, I'll never you let hurt anyone. Trust me," he said softly.

"I do trust you. It's not that. I mean, who will I be? What will I be like? Am I going to want the same things?" Her voice trembled and she looked away. Edward realized there was more to her question than she'd asked.

"You'll be you, Bella. Eventually. It takes a few months before the thirst is controllable. But after that, you'll be you." Edward leaned down and kissed her briefly. "You'll always be my Bella, just less breakable." He tried to smile as he reassured her, but the thought of her as a vampire still filled him with wrenching guilt. _I'm so selfish. _

"You don't want me to be like you," Bella whispered after a moment. There was fear in her voice. And something else. _Pain?_

"No, I don't. Bella, you have a soul. If you do this, you could be throwing it away. I can't…" He closed his eyes against the shame. "I'm so selfish." It was barely a whisper. Bella started. Sitting up on her elbow.

"Selfish? How are you selfish?" she asked. Edward opened his eyes slowly and met her gaze.

"I'm allowing you to risk your soul just so I can keep you forever." He shook his head slowly back and forth. "It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, Bella," he said, defeated. _Monster._ This was why he didn't like talking about Bella's coming transformation. Yes, he didn't like to upset her with the gory details. But really, he couldn't handle the shame of it. He was going to make her a monster, like him, because he was too weak to live without her.

Edward was not prepared for Bella's response. She sat up, her eyes shining with unshed tears, a small smile of disbelief on her lips.

"Really? That's all?" she beamed. He nodded stifly. "I thought you were afraid I wouldn't be the same. Smell the same, feel the same." Edward almost couldn't grasp what she was saying. _As if I would be sorry that your blood no longer called to me. Or that I wouldn't risk crushing you if I lost control for even a fraction of a second_. And then she was suddenly on him, her lips pressed to his cheek, his brow, his neck. Her hands curled around him, her lithe little body pressing him into excitement. Shocked, Edward cupped her face and pulled her back, searching her face.

"That was all you were worried about?" he asked, incredulous. "That I wouldn't want you?" Bella smiled, her easiness returned, soothing him.

"Well, not only that," she said, petting him. "But that's really the most important thing. As long as I have you, I can handle anything else." Edward soared, his head feeling light and bouncy, smiling like a fool. _She really does want me! Not that smelly dog._

"I'll always want you, Bella. Forever." He pressed his lips to hers and smiled against them, his hands knotting in her sumptuous hair, winding around her waist. He sat up, desire filling his veins with icy fire, and lifted Bella into his lap. She pressed both hands to his cheeks, kissing him tenderly, her tongue easing into his mouth at last. Edward melted under her touch, his mind blurring. _Oh, Bella. I love you._ He held her gently, reverently. She was so precious. He pulled her into him, her warmth, her scent. It was true, her scent was part of her allure, but he wouldn't miss it; she would still smell sweet after she was changed. She would still be warm to him, still be soft. Just not scorching hot. Not so soft he had to keep his ardor in check just so he wouldn't kill her.

Bella wound her good hand in his hair, pressing her soft flesh into his cold chest. She shivered, breathing hard, as she tried to unbutton his shirt with her broken hand. After a moment, Edward realized what she was doing and took her hand gently, stilling it. He broke away from her kiss and gazed into her eyes.

He let go of her hand and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his eyes never leaving hers. It felt so intimate. Vulnerable. True. As he removed his shirt Bella bit her lip, her teeth pressing the soft flesh until Edward groaned with want. Her eyes were unfocused as her hands splayed across his icy chest and Edward's breath caught. He let his eyes flutter closed as she sculpted him, her warm hands caressing every inch of exposed skin. When she bent to draw her tongue across his skin, tasting him, he moaned softly, his head lolling back, his hands gripping her waist. _Oh, Bella. _

Her touch undid him utterly and he surrendered to it happily, his breath ragged. Already, his control was slipping away. The tension and angst from the Jacob situation drained from him as Bella nibbled the sensitive skin of his nipples, sprinkling him with tender love bites. His skin tingled where her scorching tongue traced the lines of his chest. She was careful with her broken hand as she pushed him back, lying on top of him, her body hot against his chill frame. She kept her mouth on him, wet and hot and scintillating. Edward panted as she drew a line fire down his body, stopping only when she reached the button on his jeans. With a cry, Edward hardened, his body aching for her._ Bella, Bella! Oh, God… _

Bella kissed his marble stomach, her hands running down his legs and back up again. Edward was helpless beneath her. His body pulsed with heat, his head swam in delight and he longed to crush her to him, feel her, solid and perfect in his grasp. He forced himself to keep his touch light as she ravaged him. Finally, Bella lifted her head, a question in her eyes, her good hand settled on his button. His last button. _No. I shouldn't. _But he couldn't make himself say the words. He just looked at her, pleading. Bella smiled and bent to kiss him again, her tongue swirling on his skin.

Edward started when he realized, belatedly, that Bella was unzipping his jeans, his straining flesh pressing into her hand. Gasping, he half sat up.

"Bella, no." He could hear how unconvincing he sounded. With a muffled groan he fell back, lifting one arm to cover his eyes in defeat. He forced himself into stillness as Bella timidly slid her hand under his jeans, under his boxers, feeling him for the first time. _Ah! God! She's really touching me! _No one had ever touched him there before. Ever. It was perfect and unbearable. Exquisite. Her caress was so soft, warm and gentle on his icy skin, that he couldn't breathe. His mind was stuck, the heat of her unexpected touch overpowering him. All his inhuman strength was useless against her. She traced him, a searing line on his sensitive skin and he cried out, clamping his teeth shut, barely managing not to scream. Up and down him, she caressed, stroking him into a frenzy. _Ah! Bella! _

Finally, she grasped him, wrapping her warm hand fully around him, stroking, pulling along his length until he kicked and squirmed under her, panting. Somewhere, in a very small part of his mind, he knew he should stop her, or least try to hold still. He didn't want to hurt her. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't do anything. All he could do was feel; the heat shimmering inside him, Bella's hand like heaven on him, the unfamiliar feeling of contracting and expanding at the same time. Pleasure so intense, so acute, it was almost pain. His urgent need to find release.

His breath came in moans with each new stroke, his voice beyond his control, his fists clenching and unclenching in the sheets. _Ah! Bella! Please. Let me be inside you! _Just when he thought he couldn't possibly live if he couldn't drive himself inside her, she bent her head, her tongue flicking out to taste him as she stroked. _Ah! _

_NO! _

_Too much! _He lurched up, trying to stop her but the movement had the opposite effect, unexpectedly forcing his length fully into her mouth. Edward closed his mouth on his scream as he slipped over the edge, convulsing as Bella's soft mouth swallowed him, her lips closing around him as he spilled his seed into her mouth.

Edward sat there, a statue, curled into himself, his mind frozen, his body spinning. His eyes were clamped shut, his fists tight. Even his toes curled up inside his shoes. But Edward didn't feel tight. He felt free. Light. He soared, floating high above the world, spinning higher and higher, the whole of his being shining in a riot of color.

At length, Edward began to descend, dropping slowly back into his body. With an effort he took a breath, opened his eyes. Bella was watching him with a slightly fearful, but mostly pleased grin. When she saw him looking at her, she gasped, pointing.

"Edward, your eyes!" Edward just stared at her dumbly, unable to think. One word spun in his mind, somersaulting and twisting, pushing all other thoughts away. _Wow. Wow. Wow. _He lifted one hand and gently stroked her hair. _Wow. _Bella smiled dubiously at him, raising an eyebrow. _So lovely. My Bella… Miraculous._

"You ok?" Bella asked after a moment, still smiling. She glanced down at his jeans. Edward followed her gaze. She had lifted his boxers back into place, covering him, but his jeans were still undone. The sight reminded Edward that he was supposed to be angry. Angry at himself for letting this happen. _I could have hurt her,_ he thought, guilty, unable to muster even an ounce of anger. He just stared at her, grinning, still spinning.

"Edward?" Bella started to sound a little alarmed. _What did she say? _

"Bella," he breathed, still smiling. "Love." That was all he could say. He lifted her face to his and kissed her, long and languid. Sweet and honest. _God, I love you._


	9. Chapter 9

A First

Edward floated. His body, humming with the aftermath of love, was happily wrapped around Bella, his arms tight around her soft curves.

In the back of his infallible mind Edward knew that Bella had asked him something about his eyes, but he couldn't seem to make himself think. His mind was stuck, spinning, a lazy smile plastered on his face. _Wow._ Bella was so warm and perfect beside him, her leg curved around his, delightfully close, her fingers tracing slow, serpentine patterns on his chest. Warm chocolate eyes watched him, the faint trace of a smile playing on her lips. _Those lips..._ Edward was stunned to feel his body stirring to excitement again.

Bella felt him stiffen, his icy contours regaining their customary rigidity. She sat up on her elbow and regarded him playfully.

"Well," she smiled. "That was certainly new." She circled his nipple with one finger as she spoke. The simple motion clouded Edward's mind even further. He couldn't think, couldn't speak, while she touched him. Smiling, he took her hand and brought it to his lips as he sat up.

"It certainly was." Edward watched her watching him. _Tell me what you're thinking,_ he begged silently.Bella grinned, clearly delighted with herself, andEdward frowned. _I shouldn't have let that happen. _"That was wonderful, Bella," he said gently. "Incredible. But you shouldn't have done it. It's far too dangerous." Her face dropped instantly and Edward wanted to cut out his tongue. _Smooth, idiot. _"I'm sorry, love," he said sadly. "It just isn't safe." He lifted Bella's chin so he could read her expression. Shame. Disappointment. But also: determined rebellion. Edward braced himself.

"Edward," Bella sighed, frustrated. "Why are you so stubborn? Can't you ever just let yourself enjoy something?" She jerked her chin out of his grasp, glaring at him. Edward cringed away from her glare.

"Bella," Edward tried to make his voice as soft as he could. "I did, love, believe me. I just, I have to keep you safe." Bella pursed her lips and slid off the bed, crossing to the darkened window. Edward knew she couldn't see anything out there, though it was perfectly clear to him. She stood there thinking for a moment and Edward watched her sadly. _So unfair… _

"It's not, you know," she said at last, still peering into the dark. "You aren't as dangerous as you think you are." Edward felt a small prickle of panic shiver up his spine.

"Bella, don't be ridiculous." _Why won't she take this seriously?_ "I'm a vampire. Of course I'm dangerous." The words came out harshly, venomous, like him. _Gently, Edward,_ he chided himself. Bella just shook her head, unconvinced. He had to make her understand. He could kill her without even trying, without even realizing it was happening. _I can't ever let that happen, _he thought, fighting to control a fearful shiver.

Edward stood and took a rose from his new, finely crafted, wrought iron bed frame. He walked to the window and held it out to Bella, closing his hand and squeezing gently before she could take it from him. When he opened his fingers the dust on his palm was all that was left of the iron rose. He flung the remains across the room, into the wall, where the tiny specks embedded themselves into the plaster; permanently. Bella merely scowled at him.

"I realize you have superhuman strength, Edward. You didn't have to ruin your new bed." Edward took her shoulders, turning her to face him.

"Then what, Bella?" Edward tried to keep his voice soft, even, but she flinched anyway. He dropped his hands and waited. _So stubborn._

"That," Bella gestured toward the bed, "wasn't dangerous. You don't even really move when you're... enjoying." Her voice softened as she remembered, heat rising in her cheeks. "It's like you're on lockdown, like everything is happening on the inside." Edward closed his eyes in frustration, clenching his fists against the glorious memory of Bella's soft, hot mouth around him as he found his release. With effort, he returned his attention to the conversation, ignoring the gathering pool of icy fire in his body.

"This time, maybe," Edward said, reflecting on his reactions. He shook his head, seeing himself kick and squirm under her attentions. "No, I don't, Bella. I don't have that much control."

"Yes, you do, Edward. You just won't trust yourself." Bella sighed, a look of resignation in her eyes and Edward knew this wasn't the last time they'd have this argument.

"You're right," he said. "I don't trust myself. I don't trust myself not to kill you." He turned his eyes on her, pleading. "Please, Bella," Edward touched her face gently, cupping her cheek. _Like warm silk… _He mashed his eyes shut as another wave of want swept over him. "This is hard for me, too," he whispered. _Unbearably…_

"Edward," Bella choked. He could hear the tears stuck in her throat. "I just, I wanted to give you something." Her cheek burned under his hand and her gaze pierced through him; the heat of their shared passion in her eyes. The heat of her desire. For him. _I want you_, her eyes said. _So much._ Edward broke.

"Bella—" He pulled her into him, capturing her lips; all the passion and urgency from before reignited in a second._ Devastating… _Bella moaned, locking her arms around his neck as Edward pushed his tongue into her mouth, exploring, consuming. Her hot sweetness invaded him and he let it wash over him. He wanted her so much, didn't want to deny her anymore, couldn't even really make himself do it. He slid his arms down her back and lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapping around him. A second later he was settling her back on the bed, climbing up to hover over her.

Bella's face was already flushed, her eyes burning with a deep need that matched his own. _Oh, Bella. Lord, help me…_ Edward kissed her neck, reveling in the soft creaminess of her skin, the rich, alluring scent of her desire, her velvet taste. He inhaled her fragrance, letting his stone hands wander over her body. _Perfect. _Her small waist, the pleasing curve below; her flesh warm and soft to his touch. He lifted her shirt, his cool hands caressing the heated skin beneath. His tongue tingled as he drew it down her neck, suckling her, keeping his deadly teeth carefully away from her skin as he pulled her silken flesh into his mouth. Bella's breath hitched.

"Oh, Bella," he murmured into her skin, his hands hard on her, urgent, the ice of his desire sharp in his mind, his flesh.

"Edward," she breathed. "Yes." Bella arched up, pressing her breasts into the marble of his chest, her body scorching him. Edward moaned, lifting slightly so he could cup her. Her nipple puckered under her blouse as he touched her, squeezing gently, and he tasted the sweetness of venom pooling in his mouth. But this wasn't thirst: he knew that now. This was hunger, pure and simple. A blinding need for his beloved.

_I want to be inside you, Bella. To be part of you. Forever. _

Bella writhed beneath him, tantalizing, and Edward smiled, dazed, watching her enjoy his attentions. Her eyes were closed, face shining and bright, her lip curled between her teeth. Edward dropped his hand to the hem of her blouse and pulled his body away from her blistering heat with a silent whimper. Bella gasped, her eyes flying open, and Edward almost laughed at her apprehensive expression. He smiled warmly and lifted the blouse a few inches, his eyebrow raised in question. Bella's eyes widened but her lips curved up and she nodded her consent slowly. Heat surged under Edward's skin. _Thank you, Bella, _he thought; beholden. No matter that Bella wanted this as much as he did; it was a gift. A precious gift.

Edward sat up and reached behind Bella's back to help her sit up. Her eyes held him captive, so warm and trusting; full of love and want. He raised her shirt over her head and laid her back down, his skin burning where he pressed against her. _Oh, Bella! _Her skin against his was like nothing he'd ever felt: Silk and honey and rapture and torment all at once. _Perfection_. His mouth was on hers again in a instant, demanding and hungry, barely controlled urgency pounding through Edward's body, relentless. _You'll be the end of me, love._

"Ah! Edward," Bella gasped, her breathing hitched, ragged and eager.

"Is it… are you," Edward stammered, embarrassed. "Too cold?" he finally managed.

"No, Edward. You feel amazing." Bella's scorching fingers dug into his back, holding him to her as forcefully as she could.

"Oh, love," he whimpered._ I don't deserve you. _Edward caressed her, his chill hands sliding over her porcelain skin, adoring. He let his tongue wander down her neck, tracing the pleasing line of her collarbones, the small depression between them, and slowly drift downward to the promising swell of her breasts; savoring the intoxicating tingle of her flavor on his tongue. He tasted the small crease between her breasts and then forced himself to stop, sitting up to rake his eyes over her sublime body, appreciative.

Her skin was so pale it was almost white, highlighting the lattice of pale blue lines under her skin and the steady beat of blood beneath. Heat came off her in heavy waves, her scent assailing him, thick with desire. Her hair was luxurious; a warm chocolate spill of silk messed on the pillow.

Her collarbones stood out slightly, accentuating the generous swell of her breasts, still captured in a purple lace bra. Edward was surprised at the femininity of it. Bella always seemed to favor less delicate attire.

"Alice bought it for me," Bella admitted quietly, seeing his surprise. Edward's gaze flitted to hers and he smiled, delighting in the glowing need and excitement in her eyes, the delicious flush on her cheeks. He let out a long breath; a low, hungry rumble in his chest. Bella answered him with a timid, encouraging smile.

"Hmm, well, thank her for me," he smiled. Bella dipped her chin, her blush deepening. _Sinful. _Edward lifted one hand timidly, carefully tracing a finger along the lacy edge of her bra from shoulder to shoulder. Bella shivered, her skin puckering with his cool touch. Edward's teeth locked together and he had to force himself to move slowly, touch her gently. _Unbearable, _he thought. _Exquisite._

Leaning forward slowly, Edward tasted her again, his tongue tingling, lingering in the space between her supple curves, burying his face there. Her flavor made Edward's head spin, the icy shivers sliding down his body, colliding between his legs. He bit back a moan. _Ah, God! _Bella shivered again, whimpering softly and he finally let himself cup her again, his cold hand closing around her breast, massaging her gently. Bella cried out softly, her chest rising under his touch as she panted. Edward sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he lost himself in her overwhelming sweetness. His every sense was blind to all but her, his whole universe condensed down to this one small point. Her body entranced him; her inescapable scent, her seductive warmth, the fragile, astonishing softness of her breasts, so warm and full. Edward let it wash over him, engulfing him in the soft, heady flames of love and desire. Without even thinking, his fingers sought the front clasp of her bra, releasing it and pulling it free. His mouth was on her as soon as it was clear, his lips enveloping her, her succulent, silken skin melting in his chill mouth. Edward pulled her pert, pink nipple it into his mouth and she cried out, her hands knotting in his hair, holding him in place. He suckled her, his hands massaging as he drowned in her. _Oh, god, Bella! I can't stand this. You're too much… So soft and sweet. I have to _have_ you._ He knew he had only to ask: she was his already. Edward had to think hard to remember why he couldn't ask. Not yet.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella panted, pulling his hair. She arched up again, pushing her body against his, her bare skin sending hot spikes of need piercing through him. This time Edward couldn't suppress a moan. She was divine, invitingly innocent and eager. _Not yet, Bella. Not yet,_ he thought desperately.

Unable to stop himself, Edward gently traced her shape with trembling fingers, sculpting her soft curves, moving down her glorious body; over her stomach and down her thighs. She had given him something today, something amazing and miraculous. Something he wanted to give her, too. Yet he was unsure.And suddenly nervous. _Can I do it? _he wondered._ Without hurting her? _This was more than just kissing and touching a bit. This was real. Intense. Edward found Bella's gaze again, searching. Her eyes were clear as she watched him, sure, her lips curving faintly into a small smile. She nodded as he watched her, answering his unspoken questions. Edward paused, his nerves on edge, strangely self conscious. _Why am I nervous? I know she wants this. I know I want this. _

"Edward?" Bella whispered, questioning, her teeth pressing into her lips in her familiar habit, sensing his hesitation. _Sinful. _

"It's just… so new, I guess. I…" he paused, embarrassed to admit to his nerves. "You're so stunning, Bella." Bella grinned, blushing deeply. "I'm just, um, not sure…" Edward trailed off, intensely aware of how uncharacteristic his behavior was. Bella took his hand from her thigh where it still rested, and, with his assistance, raised his fingers to her lips, kissing his skin and sucking his fingers into her mouth. A searing burst of need slammed into Edward and he closed his eyes, moaning from the force of it. Her kiss left him trembling, the tingle of her touch erasing any trace of self doubt. If his touch felt anything to her like hers did to him, it wouldn't matter that he'd never done this before.

Bella closed her eyes and Edward took his hand back, leaning forward to kiss her again. He opened his lips and pulled her tongue into his mouth carefully, lost in the sweet heat of her, in the dance of their love. Bella moaned and kissed him back, melting and succulent in his mouth. She took his hand again, placing it on her bare, heated skin, and Edward let her guide his touch over her; down the denim covered curve of her hip to her thigh. She let go and Edward traced the line of her thigh back up, slowly, rotating his hand toward her center. Bella gasped as he reached her apex, her lips parting from his in a silent moan, her little body straining. Edward froze, fevered, unable to really believe what was happening. He was touching his beloved's most private, secret place. She had made herself completely vulnerable to him. Completely his_. I don't deserve you, Bella. Thank you… _

He touched her gently, carefully; drawing his icy fingers across her jean-clad flesh hesitantly, afraid his chill touch wouldn't please her, painfully aware of the dampness under his fingers and the pressure it created in his own body. Bella moaned, turning her head to press her face into the pillows, a crease between her brows, her breathing starting to spike. She lifted one knee, opening herself to him further, and Edward's head swam. _Oh, Bella… _

Edward breathed the scent of her desire deep into his stone lungs, savoring the fragrance of her excitement. The sear against the back of his throat no longer troubled him, now it merely increased his arousal, a reminder of how much he wanted her, all of her.

"You're the most lovely creature in all the world, love," he breathed softly, his lips soft on her neck. "I want you. So much." Bella gasped in answer, hand clutching at his shoulder with surprising strength. Edward learned her deftly, stone fingers memorizing the dips and valleys of her shape; smiling in satisfaction at her sharp intake of breath as he found her pearl, the heart of her pleasure. She cried out, arching against him eagerly, seeking. Edward cupped his hand over her, centering the heel of his palm on her rosebud and Bella moaned, quivering as Edward kneaded her slowly, his hand pressing gently against her, moving with the rhythm of her rocking hips. Her pulse increased as he loved her, breath rasping in her throat. Her jeans were soaked, her desire seeping through the fabric and moistening Edward's hand with glistening, silken perfection, making his body strain and burn, thrumming with unspent need. _Oh, Bella… Please._

Edward kept his touch as gentle as he could, yanking back on his strength savagely. Bella was panting, her cheeks stained a pleasing red as she pressed herself into him. Edward kept his mouth on her skin, kissing his way up and down her porcelain body, relishing her sweetness, suckling her breasts as he palmed her, coaxing and guiding her toward bliss. When he felt her start to shake he slowed his movements, teasing her. Bella cried out in frustrated ecstasy, arching up, wanting more.

"Edward," she whimpered. "Please! Don't stop." She clutched at him with both hands, desperate.

"Don't worry love, I won't," Edward breathed, smiling against her skin and pressing his hand to her again. She bucked, moaning. He loved seeing her react to his touch. _So luscious, my little vixen._ He rocked his hand against her once more and then released her, using only his fingertips to tease her. Bella whimpered pathetically, the sound pleasing him more than he'd expected. _Oh god, Bella…_ Edward moaned, elated, the taste of her rich in his mouth, imagining himself sinking inside her, taking her, possessing her. His body strained against the confines of his jeans. _Excruciating. _

Experimentally, he pressed a finger into the depression where he knew Bella's entrance was, hot and wet and ready; luscious. Edward's muscles clenched, tight with longing as Bella gasped aloud, her hips moving under him. Pleased with her response, Edward pressed into her again, this time carefully placing his thumb over her nub and massaging in soft circles. He kept up his gentle thrusting movement, watching, besotted, as she shook.

"Edward! Edward!" Her voice was ragged, rough, as she cried his name with each breath, faster and faster. He kept his movements steady, aligning with her rhythm, careful not to injure her with his cold, marble touch. Edward watched her reactions, mesmerized, as he pressed his fingers into her as far as her jeans would allow, caressing her little magic bud steadily. Finally Bella screamed, her small frame convulsing as he tipped her over the edge into ecstasy; her release ripping through her furiously, back arching with the strength of it. Edward watched, exalting, as Bella shook, the tremors of her pleasure coursing through her taut body for several minutes, the sizzle of it echoing in his veins. She panted, eyes closed, her breasts rising and falling with the strained movement of her lungs. Edward drew in a long shaky breath, trying to ignore the aching need crashing through him, searing his veins with burning ice. _Ah, Bella. So lovely_…

_Unbearable._

Edward pushed up on his elbow, trying to control himself as Bella trembled. She lay beside him; a gleaming goddess sprawled on his bed, her skin flushed and sweet and tempting. And temptingly bare. He longed to taste her again, draw his tongue over her tender skin and pull her flavor into his mouth. Instead he clenched his fists, eyes shuttered against the siren beside him, and fought to resist his hunger.

When he finally opened his eyes Bella's face shone. Her eyes were still closed but her lips curved up into a soft, satisfied smile. Slowly, her body began to relax; her breath slowing, her heartbeat settling into her familiar, steady thrum, her limbs turning soft and pliant. Bella sighed contentedly, peeking at him from half lidded eyes. Her smile widened when she saw him and her blush deepened.

"Hey," she breathed simply, winding her arms around Edward's neck and pulling him down to her. He kissed her softly, gently, his rigid lips playing with her swollen ones, her tongue stinging him as she licked at him. He groaned into her mouth. _Unbearable,_ he thought again and pulled back slightly.

"Bella, you're so beautiful. _That_ was so beautiful. Thank you." She flushed prettily at his praise, her smile shy.

"Thank _you_, Edward." She shifted then, a pained look crossing her face, quickly hidden.

"Bella? What is it?" he asked in sudden fear. Had he hurt her after all? _Monster! _She raised her hand, examining the brace and wincing. _Ah, her wrist. I'd forgotten. What a careless cad I am. _Edward shook his head in disappointment.

"I think I may have exacerbated my broken hand," Bella said, smiling, without a trace of sorrow. _Sinful girl,_ Edward smiled to himself.

"Hmm, yes," he sighed, sitting up. "We weren't exactly careful, were we?" Edward drawled, grinning. She giggled, sitting up and holding her hand out to him. Her bare chest bobbed enticingly. "Let's see what kind of new damage we've done." Edward removed the brace as gently as possible but Bella still winced, sucking in a breath between her teeth. Gingerly, Edward probed her hand again. He was glad to see that the break was the same, with no further damage. But the surrounding flesh was hot and inflamed. She winced again as he probed the injury.

"Well, love, you're lucky. It isn't any worse, just sore. It's swollen, probably from our exertions." He smiled at the last word. "Let's get you some ibuprofen. That should help the inflammation." Edward stood and blurred out of the room, rapping quietly on Carlisle's office door a moment later and letting himself in as he heard his father's thoughts allowing him.

_Well, son, _Carlisle smirked, _did you enjoy yourself?_ Edward blushed, as much as a vampire can blush. Enough that Carlisle could see it easily. His father smiled at him crookedly. _There's no shame in it, son. You two deserve to enjoy each other. Just be careful, will you?_

"I am, Carlisle, but as I've told you, her blood doesn't hold the same lure for me as it once did. She smells like any other human now, and I've been avoiding _that_ for years. Besides," Edward paused, smiling at his realization. "She makes me strong." Carlisle smiled indulgently at his son.

"I hope you're right, Edward. Don't get too carried away, though. You do still intend to wait until after you're married, don't you?" Edward's blush deepened.

"Yes," he nodded curtly. Carlisle spread his hands in front of him.

"Well, what can I do for you now, Edward?"

"Bella needs an anti-inflammatory. Her hands hurts."

"Yes, I'm sure it does," Carlisle said, smiling as he turned away to fetch the medicine Bella needed. As a rule, Carlisle always kept a full compliment of medical supplies on hand. Just in case. Edward was glad. "Some ice would be advisable too," Carlisle said, turning back and handing Edward the pills. "Though, you can probably provide that to her yourself, can't you?" he teased with a grin. Edward chuckled, embarrassed, and turned for the door.

"Thanks, Carlisle." His father waved him out with a smile and Edward closed the door, shaking his head._ He's right, that probably wasn't the best timing, _he thought. But Edward couldn't bring himself to regret it. He could still feel the residual languor in his body, the slight tingle of Bella's kiss. The heat of her, wet beneath this touch. He shivered as he came out of the kitchen with a glass of water, heading to the stairs. _Nope,_ he smiled to himself,_ no regrets._ It was a first.

When he opened the door to his room he found, with no small amount of disappointment, that Bella had replaced her bra and shirt and was standing by the window cradling her hand. He crossed to her, slipping one arm around her waist, holding out the pills and water with the other. She took them without complaining and Edward knew she must really be hurting. She usually refused medication, always trying to be so brave. _My tiger kitten,_ he smiled.

"Bella, love. We should get you home," he whispered in her ear. She sighed, leaning her head against him.

"Yeah, I know." Bella buried her face in his stone chest; his bare stone chest. Edward's cheeks blazed again, invisibly, as he realized he'd forgotten to put his shirt back on before going to see his father. _Oh well. Privacy isn't exactly possible here anyway… _Edward held Bella against him and realized that she'd put her hurt hand against his icy chest. Smiling, he realized Carlisle was right, he _could_ provide Bella with ice; as much as she needed, for as long as she needed it. He held her gently, trying not to squash her hand, laying his head on hers andsighing happily.

"I love you, Bella." Edward let his mind wander back over the day. It had been a strange one. Hunting, then Jacob, then this. Thinking of Jacob he smiled again. There was no way she would chose Jacob; not after this. Edward kissed her hair, reveling in the exquisite joy of getting to be with this wonderful, precious woman. Forever. Bella stirred, lifting her head and regarding him with wide, warm eyes.

"I love you too, Edward. Forever." She kissed him slowly, soft and sweet. _Unbearable… _

_Perfect._


	10. Chapter 10

Threat

Panic.

Edward tried to arrange his face into something vaguely human. It was impossible. Stress provoked extreme reactions in vampires, turning them into living statues, whatever horror-struck expression they wore simply frozen on their stony faces. Since Edward was currently standing in a stuffy gymnasium full of children in their caps and gowns and their proud parents, that wasn't an acceptable option. Charlie was on his way over and Edward knew he needed to look like the excited graduate he was supposed to be.

He couldn't. The revelation Bella had just laid out to him was just too much; he simply couldn't keep up the human pretense. His body was locked, awash in paralyzing horror.

_All those vicious newborns…_ _Hunting my Bella? How could I have been so blind? So careless?_

No. No, there was no way he could act human right now. All he could think of was grabbing Bella and running away as fast as he could. Faster. He knew he couldn't though: Charlie would definitely notice if his only daughter went missing from right under his nose. Still. _I can't lose her…_ _I can't._

Edward closed his eyes, trying to block out the knowledge. That was worse. The faces of nameless, newly made vampires; vicious and thirsty, swam in his mind, cruel sanguine eyes and blood spattered lips twisted into mocking smiles.

Fury.

Dark wrath spread through Edward, the ice in his veins burning with cold rage. All his thoughts turned to vengeance. He wanted to end them all, rip them into pieces and watch as they burned. Laugh over their smoking ashes.

Edward knew his efforts to control his face were failing. He could feel his muscles coiling, his predatory instincts kicking in as his anger grew_._ He opened his eyes again. Bella watched him fearfully. _How dare they do this? _he thought. _And why? What has Bella ever done to them?_ But he knew the answer to that. _She loves me; she's in my world, _he thought. As long as she was human, Bella would always be in danger from others of his kind, like these newborns.

Charlie pushed his way through the throng, shouldering Edward to the side as he flung his arms around Bella. The clumsy slight helped break Edward out of his frozen stupor. He turned, stepping back jerkily to stand behind Charlie as he gushed about how proud he was. Bella kept throwing Edward concerned glances over her father's shoulder. Edward knew he wasn't succeeding at the human facade, that he needed to get out of there, but he couldn't leave her alone, even for a moment. Not now.

He scanned the crowd, listening, until he found Alice. Given her strange performance at the ceremony, Edward was certain she knew; she'd been trying to keep him out of her thoughts. He glanced in her direction, knowing she was watching his future now, fearful. He raised his eyebrows minutely at her and she drifted toward him, seeing his decision to flee.

_Go Edward. Get yourself under control. We'll watch her, _Alice thought, eyes flicking to where Jasper lounged by the door. Edward nodded and caught Bella's eye.

"Edward, will you be joining us for dinner?" Charlie was asking, grudgingly. He wasn't even really looking at him, which was just fine under the circumstances.

"No, thank you," Edward muttered. His lips felt stiff, his voice sharp and cold. Charlie looked dimly offended by his tone, but Edward didn't care. The abyss of fury and panic he'd been fighting off was closing in. Edward had to get away from the humans before he lost control completely. He turned on his heel and stalked, too fast, out of the gym. As soon as he reached the cover of the woods, Edward broke into a run.

He sped through the trees, trying to think as the miles passed beneath his feet. Running usually cleared his mind. Not today. Unbidden, his mind conjured her: Bella, cold and lifeless, lying broken and torn on the forest floor, empty eyes staring at him. A young vampire crouched over her, feral eyes gleaming, Bella's precious blood dripping from her lips.

_NO! _The image brought Edward up short, like a spear through his chest, and he fell to his knees, gasping, his fists pressed to his eyes as he cried out in pain.

_NO! Please, no… _The plea echoed through his mindover and over. Edward slumped to the ground, heaving, dry sobs shaking him as he tried in vain to fight off the too familiar void of pain and despair. He knew he wouldn't survive if he lost Bella. _Please, please… _

Edward wasn't sure how long he laid there, defeated, trying to shake off that horrible vision, the chasm of pain that clawed and scratched at him. It seemed like an eternity.

_Son? Are you alright? _Carlisle announced his presence with his thoughts well before he found him. Edward couldn't bring himself to sit up. He couldn't move. When Carlisle appeared he knelt beside him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

_Don't worry, Edward. We'll all protect her. No one is going to kill Bella. _Edward groaned at Carlisle's choice of words. _Sorry, _he continued._ This is good, really. Now that we know, we can do something, go to Seattle now; before they can come here. We can finally put an end to all this. Bella will be fine, son. _Carlisle's calm words and rational tone brought Edward back to himself, rekindling the blinding fury, the very satiable need to hunt down anyone and everyone who ever wanted to harm his Bella.

"Thank you, Carlisle," Edward sighed, sitting up. He ran his hands through his hair, dislodging the forest debris, clinging to his fury. Anger was better than pain. Safer. He could move through anger. Use it to fuel him. _There are so many newborns. Can we handle them all? Maybe. With Jasper._ Automatically, his mind started strategizing.

_Son, you should get back to Bella._ Carlisle's calm mental voice interrupted Edward's plotting._ I know she's upset and worried about you. _Carlisle stood up and gazed back toward town. Bella's panicked face floated in Carlisle's mind. Edward clenched his teeth. _Dammit..._

"Yes, you're right. I didn't handle that very well." The sudden need to wrap Bella in his arms and tell her she was safe overwhelmed him.

"You did very well, under the circumstances," Carlisle said aloud. He was always too kind. "Are you sure you're all right?" Edward saw his own face reflected in Carlisle's thoughts and realized he still looked a little feral, a little crazed. He would need to get himself under better control before he saw Bella. He would _not _scare her. Edward took a deep breath, consciously relaxing his frozen nerves.

"I'll be fine," he said slowly. "I need to see Bella."

"Of course."

Edward and Carlisle ran back to town in silence, Carlisle's brief thoughts of the coming battle keeping Edward's mind from lapsing back into terror. They slowed to a more human pace as they reached the edge of the woods and when they stepped onto the blacktop of the school parking lot, Carlisle put his arm around Edward's shoulders, squeezing him tightly.

_We can deal with this, Edward. We have Jasper. And we know what they're after now, that will help. We'll plan tonight, after Alice's party. _

Edward grimaced. _The party. Swell. _Carlisle ruffled Edward's hair affectionately, smiling his clear smile before walking off toward his car. Edward wished he could feel as confident as Carlisle seemed to feel, but he knew how unlucky Bella was. How danger always found her. _Be safe, _Edward pleaded, trudging slowly to the only restaurant in town. He knew Charlie had planned to take Bella there for dinner after the graduation ceremony. After a few slow steps he ran again, keeping to the shadows, too tense to walk.

When he arrived at the restaurant she was still inside. _Bella!_ He longed to crash in, take her in his arms, never let her out of his sight again. He couldn't. He wasn't supposed to be there. He was supposed to be helping Alice set up for her party. Though, in truth Alice was probably already finished. He scented Emmett nearby and steered his steps toward him.

"You ok?" Emmett whispered in the dark. To a human he would be invisible hidden here in the dark.

"Not really. Thanks for watching her, Emmett. I'll see you at the party later." Edward nodded to his brother then turned toward the restaurant, searching for the only thing that mattered to him.

Bella looked nervous as she pretended to eat and socialize, peering out the window every few minutes, searching the parking lot. She looked so vulnerable, so fragile. _Please stay alive, Bella. Please. _The abyss threatened to take him again as he watched her, clawed fingers reaching for his flesh.

Edward hovered in the shadows, waiting, his patience thin. The longer he stood there the more frozen he felt. At length, Bella got up, leaving Charlie to pay the bill, and came outside. _Finally! _She leaned against the police cruiser, searching the parking lot again. She couldn't see him, but he could tell she knew he was there.Edward gave thanks that the parking lot was dark as he flitted lithely to her side, utterly unable to keep his movements human. Then she was in his arms, alive and safe and soft, her warm lips melting his icy ones. Her searing scent stabbing pleasantly at the back of his throat. Edward crushed her into his stone chest, encasing her in the protective circle of his arms.

"Bella," Edward whispered into her hair, pain and worry seeping into his voice despite his best efforts.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. How are you doing?" Bella asked. Edward sighed.

"Not so good. But I'm better now. I'm sorry about before."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have told you there."

"No. I needed to know. And sooner is better in this case." He kissed her again, just a taste, as Charlie emerged from the restaurant. "Charlie's coming."

"He's driving me to your house." Bella shuddered delicately, sending worry and concern shooting through Edward. "Alice's party," she muttered darkly. Edward chuckled, _That's my Bella. Hordes of vicious newborns coming to kill her and she's scared of a party._

"I'll be right behind you." It felt wrong to leave her there, alone in the dark. Edward's eyes never left Bella as he retreated to the shadows, senses straining to pick up anything out of the ordinary. He breathed a little easier as Charlie opened the cruiser and they both climbed in.

Edward followed them to the house. As he ran, he kept seeing that accursed waking nightmare his mind had concocted. He winced away from the image, vowing to himself that he'd never let that happen. When they reached the long driveway he ran up ahead of them so he could greet Bella when she arrived. As he entered the house Alice eyed his dirty clothes with distaste.

"Go change. She'll be at least another minute." Complying was easier and faster than arguing so Edward darted upstairs and was at the door again when Bella rang the bell a minute later, dressed in a clean blue shirt and black pants.

As he opened the door, Bella was waving to Charlie as he made his escape. _Oh, Bella. _Edward needed her. Needed her to dispel the horrible image of her lifeless body from his mind. He stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind him. As soon as Charlie was out of sight Edward pulled Bella into him. _Warm. Alive. _He lifted her face to look into her warm eyes but they were etched with panic and fear. It broke his heart.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe. I will always keep you safe," he promised her vehemently.

"I know. It's just––" He didn't let her finish. He simply couldn't wait any longer. His lips silenced hers, bearing down on her, drinking in her panic and fear, letting her warmth replace the icy tension inside him. He cupped the back of her head tenderly and his other hand found her waist. She gasped, pressing against him, kissing him back with fear laced vigor. Cold shivers of desire rippled through him and Edward scooped Bella up, cradling her as he sat on the porch step and Bella wrapped her arms around his neck.

All too soon, Edward heard the roar of a car engine as it turned up the drive. _Stupid party_, he thought bitterly. He pulled away from Bella's kiss, with difficulty, lingering.

"Someone's here," he sighed. He turned and stood, placing Bella gently on her feet on the step above him, his hands on her waist as she caught her balance. "Let's celebrate!" Edward intoned with mock enthusiasm. He wrapped his arm around Bella, pulling her against his side. He wasn't letting go of her again. _Ever._

The party was actually fun. If you call a house full of extremely tense vampires hosting a bunch of human kids and a few nervous werewolves fun. Which apparently Alice did. Edward stayed glued to Bella all night, carefully scanning the crowd for any hostile thoughts. He only left her side briefly when he saw Alice's vision. After that it was better: they had information. The newborns were coming to Forks in four days. The wolves agreed to fight with them and that made the stakes far less overwhelming. Jasper was pleased. Bella wasn't.

She was worried for Jacob. Edward sighed inwardly, wondering where all this Jacob business would lead. To be fair, she was also worried about the rest of the pack but Edward knew she felt something different for Jacob than she did for any of the other wolves. And Jacob knew it too. He'd proclaimed his love for Bella, ineptly kissing her against her wishes. _That damn dog!_ Jacob had sworn to fight for her, at least until she made the change. Edward suspected when it came right down to it, Jacob would keep on fighting for her even then. _He won't win._

Edward turned into Bella's driveway and turned the lights off. It was late. Charlie would be asleep. He walked Bella to the door, making sure it was safe before he let her in. After she'd locked the door between them, he scurried up to her window and let himself in. Now that he knew the newborns hunted her, he couldn't leave her alone, even for a second. Alice and Jasper were outside right now, hidden in the woods near the house, keeping watch on the most precious person in his world.

Edward listened as Bella helped her father off the couch and made him go upstairs to bed. She followed him up a moment later, going to the bathroom to brush her teeth and change into her night clothes.

Edward rose as she opened the door, enfolding her in his icy arms a second later. He breathed a little easier as soon as he touched her. The hurt easing. She clung to him, her head buried in his chest.

"If I were one of you, I could help. There's enough time if we do it now," she whispered.

Edward stiffened. _Why is it always this?_

"Bella, love," he stroked her hair, taking her hand and leading her to stand before him as he sat on the bed, looking up at her. "That would be the opposite of helpful." She started to argue, but Edward held up his hand. "Bella, I know you want to help. But not that way." He took a deep breath and blew it out. He hated thinking about Bella as a vampire. "You'd be brand new, love, with even less control than the ones we'll be fighting, crazy with thirst. You might even run off to find some–– thing to drink. And you won't have any training, you'll be totally vulnerable." As he spoke, Bella's eager face darkened and clouded, a new worry spreading across her face. Edward sighed, pulling her into his lap and wrapping his stone arms around her. "I won't let you hurt anyone, Bella. We'll go far away. Somewhere safe. Alaska." He nuzzled her as he tried to soothe her fears. "Let's just get through this and then we'll discuss it, hmm?"

"Alright." Bella's voice was small. She was curled into him, pressing into his chest and Edward lifted her chin gently with a finger so he could see her face. Fear. And worry. _Oh, my Bella. I wish I could take away all your fears. _He bent, his lips brushing hers softly, smiling as she shivered. Bella lifted her hand, wrapping it around his neck and pulling him down to her, her heart suddenly pounding as her desire awakened. All the tension and fear of the last several hours shifted, transforming into a fierce, aching longing. He needed to wrap himself up in her, soothe away the terrible image of her dead body. He kissed her back desperately, his hand cradling her cheek. _God, she's beautiful. _He lay back, pulling her up beside him on the bed, exploring her soft curves with his free hand as he drank her in.

Bella's hands wandered over him, setting his chill skin alight with icy fire. She caressed his chest, pulling her hand down his body and up under his shirt. Edward gasped, pulling his lips from hers, and throwing his head back into the pillows as she arched her fingers, her nails carving softly into his stone flesh.

"Ah! Bella, that feels incredible!" he whispered through clenched teeth as she scored him. She smiled, her eyes dark with hunger, and softened her touch, her warm hand flat against the frigid planes of his body, learning his contours, caressing every inch of him. Edward melted under her touch, intoxicated. Bella lowered her head, gently suckling the cold skin at his neckline. Edward sighed, happily. _Divine_, he thought, his mind foggy, his body aching for her. Every inch of his skin was alive, a soft fire warming him. Bella brought her hands to the buttons on his shirt and began to undo them.

"Bella," he panted, his voice thick with his need for her, his hands tight around her, unwilling to let go, her soft flesh molding to his touch. _Please don't stop, I can't bear it._ Bella got his shirt open and spread her hands over him again, bending to kiss his white skin. Edward shuddered, the shiver running his entire length. He would never tire of her touch. He gripped her tighter, his thumb pressed into the crease between thigh and hip. Her mouth circled each taut nipple with warm kisses before she let her tongue out to taste him.

"Oh, Bella!" Edward cried quietly. His back arched, his control starting to slip as she licked him, her teeth gently grazing him, a torrent of fire engulfing him. He sat up, panting, Bella moving with him, his hands hard on her as he lifted her and set her on his lap. His body hardened painfully. _God, I want you_. In one lissome movement he shed his shirt, wrapped his arms around her again and laid his head gently on her soft breasts, nuzzling, breathing her in.

Bella's breathing spiked, her hands tangling in his hair, her hips pressing into him as she moaned with pleasure. Gasping, Edward let his hands explore her, his chill fingers making her shiver as he reached under her blouse. Her skin was warm cream, soft and supple. Sweet. He longed to taste it, to drink in her flavor, her scent. Bella arched as Edward ran his hands down her back, his face pressed into her warm body. Her hips rocked against him again, sending a wave of excruciating fire down his body, centering between his legs. Edward fought back a roar. _Oh God!_ He needed to be inside her, push himself into her, lose himself in her, in her soft wetness. The mere thought made him whimper. He could feel her dampness, even through his pants. It made him crazy.

"Bella! Oh, god, Bella!" Edward knew his control was slipping, knew he could go too far at any moment, but he couldn't care. Fire pulsed through him, his mind blind, his body taut and alive. There was nothing but her. Her and his need for her. He pulled her down on top of him as he laid back again, rolling over to mount her, forcing himself between her legs. He kissed her again, hard, his mouth demanding, as insistent as his burning need, his hands roaming her scorching body. Bella responded in kind, her arms reaching around him, seizing his marble curves and pulling his hips even harder against her, moaning quietly. The sound of her pleasure, coupled with his own, made Edward shudder, a low growl rumbling his chest, his animal side surfacing. _Oh, Bella! Stop. I don't want to hurt you. _

But he couldn't stop, his hands moved up her side, lifting her blouse, desperately seeking the warm promise of her decadent, full breasts. Bella panted and writhed under him, her body beat fast, quick with need. Edward cupped her as gently as he could under the circumstances, moaning as she arched up against him. She was soft and succulent and glorious. A miracle. Edward kissed his way to Bella's smooth white neck and let himself drown in her soft curves, her sweet flavor warm on his tongue, the spice of it stinging his lips. Edward's mind went blank, dulled with desire and strain.

The scent of Bella's blood pulled at him, raking down his throat and before he knew what he was doing, his mouth was open around her neck and he let his teeth come down on her thin skin. Bella jerked, instinctually stiffening in fear. Mercifully, the small movement was enough, releasing Edward from his sudden blood-frenzy. With a stifled shout, he flung himself away, crouching on the floor across the room, one hand clamped over his mouth as he watched her in horror. He didn't dare breathe.

"Oh!" Bella cried in surprise. She was still panting, her face flushed deliciously. _God, I want her. All of her. Monster..._

"Bella?" Her name was hard on lips, pushed through tightly clenched teeth. "Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" _If I've hurt her… God, I'm the worst kind of beast. _Edward sank back farther into the wall he crouched against, his shame consuming him. Thirst still wretched and heavy in his muscles. He wrenched back on the chains in his mind; caging the monster inside him.

Bella lifted her hand to her neck, taking stock of her welfare, then shook her head. She was unharmed. Edward shook with grateful relief. Until that moment he wasn't sure he hadn't actually broken her skin and really tasted her blood. "Good," he shrugged, closing his eyes. "I need a minute, all right?" Edward went to the window and leaned out, inhaling the clean, cold air. _What, in the name of all that is holy, happened? _

The moon was dark, the stars silently blinking in the sky. It was late. Almost time to go meet the wolves for their fighting lesson. Behind him he heard Bella roll over and reach for the clock on her desk. She sighed, getting up and gathering clothes from her closet. After a minute Edward turned around to find her watching him. He felt shame color his face and was glad she couldn't see it. He watched the floor intently.

"Bella, I––" _What? I'm sorry I almost killed you?_ That hardly seemed adequate. His fists tightened.

"Edward, don't." Bella's voice was soft, a blanket of comfort that Edward fought against. He didn't deserve it. Even with an army of newborns sent to kill her Bella was in far more danger just being here with him.

"Bella—"

"Edward, stop. Don't beat yourself up. You didn't lose control. Look, I'm fine, see?" She shoved her hair aside and showed him her neck. _Not the best idea._ He flinched back, locking his body into stillness, but she was indeed unscathed, her skin white and flawless. "Look, I know this is hard," she continued. "Even if I only smelled like a normal human it would be hard. Let's just take it slow, ok?"

_But I did lose control._ He couldn't say the words out loud though, couldn't admit how close it had been. Edward examined himself carefully. The beast he normally kept carefully lashed away in the darkest recesses of his being still stalked his mind, ruthlessly urging him to violence, unwittingly uncaged by the blind fury caused by the news of the newborn's coming attack. Understanding helped to tame the monster and Edward wrestled him back under control. Two and half seconds had passed.

Bella walked toward him slowly, as though approaching a wild animal, gaging his reactions. Edward watched her approach in amazement. _So brave, trusting. How can I ever deserve you?_ he thought, abashed. Bella took his hand slowly, folding it up in hers, her warmth soothing him. The monster receded further. As Bella stepped into him he wrapped her in his arms, knowing he was safe again. He smiled into her hair as he held her.

"Bella," Edward whispered. She reached up and silenced him with a kiss, her lips warm and sweet on his. Gentle. Too soon she pulled away, smiling as she went to change for their outing. Edward chuckled to himself, still amazed. _My Bella, _he thought, watching her go, his heart full. _I love you._


End file.
